Upon Reflection

(album: Upon Reflection - 2019)

Reflecting, I reflect, I probably haven't been the best
I've been away, I've been depressed
Been tryna raise you with a cheque
Now I can blame it on success and claim that I just need money
Making up for lost time you can't get back on no rolly
In the mornings we connect in ways we haven't done
I pray them school runs would turn into a marathon
It's funny how I always work from home but don't get home from work
It's funny how I pray you grow and work but don't get home from church
Now I'm reflecting through my sentences, that's just a lonely verse
I made a promise in my foreign whip so that I won't reverse
Now I'm speeding down memory lane
Running out of petrol almost every day
Reflecting how I treated every woman that I sexed
And now my daughter's nearly ten like I found my common sense
I guess it's easy to regret, like it's easy to finesse
But now I finally got the message I can CC all my friends
We got kids the same age
We used to roll the whole day, we got older then we went our own ways
We ain't spoken in a minute, you been on my mind for hours
When it's all said and done it'll be written in loads of flowers on the coffin
You been my nigga from we cotting
First tooth, first coup, first college, first zoot
First move, first bondage, first bar, 32
First honest reflecting how I'm treating all these members of my family
You my friend or you my family?
It depends on whether you turn up at the Grammys and you didn't have a shoulder or a brandy
When my show was half full in the Academy, embarrassed to come out
When there was hoes up in my couch
At home playing cat and mouse
There was rodents in my house
You said I never had drive, but now you're wanting chauffeuring around

Too much reflecting
Too much reflecting
Too much reflecting
Making mirror crack, seven years bad luck now, yeah
Hate your reflection, you're still looking back
Wishing for what you had
Didn't know what you had
Don't break the mirror

I reflect on my career, I think about the wonder years
See, once I went to number one all other numbers underwhelm me
Top ten just let me feeling like a failure
Top twenty, now you feel like euthanasia
You're heavy breathing in the labour when they're waiting to excel
You think you've had your heyday and they feel they're Tony Bell
All the diamonds in your ring that had you dancing like a girl
Grew into nothing, something that you're loving dissembled you

Pray for the change to come
Came and it's changing you
No way was a chain enough
'Cause the paper keeps changing up
Pray for the change to come
Came and it's changing you
No way was a chain enough
'Cause the paper keeps changing up

I think about Chip from time to time
The truth is we both made a difference in our lives
And it's petty that we couldn't put those differences aside
We left it under troubled water and the bridge is still on fire
All those times you reached out to have a talk on it
I wasn't really ready for no walk on it
Same brother, different mother, same orphanage
But when you're from a broken home you shouldn't auction it
Closed doors turn into revolving doors
The internet just made the world smaller
They don't even own a business but involved in yours
Staring at a meme with an open jaw
Reflecting on my teens there was photo shops and nobody was Photoshopped
Still everything was crystal clear without scrolling through a thousand pictures til they disappear
Focus now you're out the room but your kid's in there
I guess the real Black Mirror's here

Too much reflecting
Too much reflecting
Too much reflecting
Making mirror crack, seven years bad luck now, yeah
Hate your reflection, you're still looking back
Wishing for what you had
Didn't know what you had
Don't break the mirror
Don't break the mirror
Too much reflecting
Making mirror crack, seven years bad luck now, yeah
Hate your reflection, you're still looking back
Wishing for what you had
Didn't know what you had
Don't break the mirror