Sabrina

(album: Trial By Fire - 2017)

I woke up from a deep sleep
I must have had a nightmare
But I really cannot remember
My heart was beating out of my chest
And I was cold, I must of let the window crack
Funny September and the winter's coming back
The house is unusually quiet and I'm wondering where Sabrina's at
By this time of the clock she would of been pulling on my blanket
Saying daddy "I want my cereal" wondering where her mommy's at
My door is wide open I can hear the breeze hit the curtains
Wind chime hanging on the front porch singing
Sabrina must be asleep
I pull back the sheet
Get up and walk to her room in the hall
Not a peep, not a sound, not at all
The anxiety of a father is setting in
As I turn the corner to her room
Her Mickey Mouse blanket is on the floor
She isn't in the bed
I take a deep breath and put my hand on my head
Relax
Its a game of hide and seek
Shes in the closet I know it
I open the door
Gotcha!
She isn't there
The faint sound of the television from downstairs
Playing some cartoons she on the couch of course
How did I oversleep
Baby girl why didn't you come wake up daddy?
And neither responds
Fear turned to frustration
Sabrina answered me
'Brina this isn't funny
I ran into the couch and she's not there
I'm starting to panic and I'm looking up everywhere
Guest rooms, bath rooms, cabinets
On to the tables, the attic
Wait a minute, oh god, no
I know she wouldn't go outside
We live so far back in the woods
She wouldn't dare
Its to scary for a little girl just to go bye bye
I'm trying to escape my minds eye
But my imagination is running wild
At this point I'm talking to god
"Please lord, please I'm scared help me find my child"
I run to the basement
Sweat beats on my head
Pacing thinking, pacing thinking
Turn my face in
The screen door to the backyard's yard
I run to the swingset
Swingset? No
Sandbox? No
Goddammit Sabrina where'd you go?
There's a trail to a pond that I take her to everyday
Maybe she's down there
I run down the trail its about 100 yards
We usually hang out on the pier
And as I get close in
Everything moves slow motion
Her little white shirt on the surface of the water
She was there, lifeless floating
(Oh my god)
The pain I can't explain I couldn't see anything
I ran to the water
God is this really my daughter?
I picked her up she was really heavy
And hella tight in my arms
I took her out of the barn
I laid her on the grass
I couldn't breath I gas
Gave her CPR she wasn't responding to it
My phone in my pocket
My hands are shaking
My visions blurry
9-1-1'll send a ambulance in a hurry
But it was too late
No telling how long she wasn't breathing
Her skin was the color purple
Her lips were ice cold
She must have fell of the pier with her poor teddy bear
She tried to get out she got wood under her nails
God what did you do to us?
What of we doing I say my prayers at night
Heaven I been a consumer
What did you to do my baby
She's mine now give her back
You don't deserve her if you let her die like that