Rekindle 23

(album: Survivor Of The Trenches - 2022)

I been in that war, but I ain't say it
My dog just finished trial and lost the case
Couple days before I was a pallbearer and buried Jay
I ain't walk up on his casket when it's open, I ain't want that to be the last time I seen his face
When I seen my tear fall, I ain't cry in a while, but I seen blood
And it's feeling deep, we ain't lose connect, so we ain't talk, but that's my thug
I felt his soul when I was hugging her tight, when I gave his mama a hug
I'm still mad, tryna rekindle our flame, but you know it's still love

I'm trying, but it's only so much that a nigga can take
Inside, I'm dying, every day feel like my last, in the morning, I won't be awake

With all my love, been tryna make this mountain move
Uh, I still be trying even though I know it's impossible
How could I be so foolish for believing in love?
Know it's limited moments I got with you and this time ain't enough
YB just lost federal trial, it got my head spinning
Grandma asked me, was I at peace? I told her, "It's been a minute"
They say I beat the streets, but I promise it don't seem like I'm winning
God keep a close eye on me, you know how I get when I'm healing
Know how I get when I'm dealing
Suicidal thoughts, I be tripping
I been out of touch with my feelings
Emotionally scarred, but I'm willing
They say I'm weird 'cause I'm different
I still won't change with these millions
I cry of pain 'cause I feel it
They ain't say bad news, but I hear it

I'm trying, but it's only so much that a nigga can take
Inside, I'm dying, every day feel like my last, in the morning, I won't be awake

Ayy, I be tryna move my feet, but my heart just got me stuck
When I started to see that they cared, that's when they showed me they don't give a fuck
When I love, my heart start beating, I can't let you in easy
Why should I be the one to stay when I know you gon' leave me?
Mortician wanted me to talk at Jay funeral
But I was tryna stay strong even though I was vulnerable
I had 23 once before, but I lost him two times
We wasn't on good terms before he died, I wished I called his line
The shit that we was fighting over, we could've got over it
Had our differences since 2019, but nobody noticed it
I still loved you like my brother, I hope you know it
Embracing all my feelings like a poet
I just seen the devil flash right 'cross my eyes
In my dreams, I seen a shovel bury me alive
All your friends and, yeah, all my brothers died
Baby, I need you here, just right here by my side
Feel like bad luck is me, feel like I'm cursed
I know everybody go through shit, but I go through the worst
Hurt people hurt people, I lied when I said I believe him
I wouldn't be surprised if out of the blue, that my heart'll stop beating
I showed 'em my weakness

I'm trying, but it's only so much that a nigga can take
Inside, I'm dying, every day feel like my last, in the morning, I won't be awake

You know, like, real niggas go through shit, you feel me?
I won't try to hide it 'cause I know this shit be real, you feel what I'm sayin'?
I can't hide this shit, this shit just be me, that's who I am, like
I feel this shit, you know what I'm sayin'?
Like, every step of the way, it's always something else
Every time I open my eyes, it's something, I close 'em, it's something else, I wake up, open again, it's something else
That's just my life