I'm Not

I wasn't holding on to words that you never meant
Problems with myself 'cause of the things that I never said
Brea-, brea-, breaking down the walls between us
Only to find that the open door was straight ahead
So tell me, what am I breaking my back for?
I should've asked more, probably, could've relaxed more
When I was tripping, could've filled the re-stamp on the passport
Now I'm just guessing that I'm getting the payment I asked for
This is exactly what I never came back for

Because I'm not searching for forgiveness
Because I'm not taking back the things I've done
And I'm not making your decisions
Because you're everything I'm not

Can never live in the background
It's getting harder to stop this bleeding back
Never needed to back down
Been underwater and I'm still breathing in
Next up, my God I've got one thing and I want more reasons
And I've got my heart turned up
Sick of trying to fighting this feeling

Because I'm not searching for forgiveness
Because I'm not taking back the things I've done
And I'm not making your decisions
Because you're everything I'm not

Because you're everything I'm not
As I take in my last breath
And this weight is on my shoulders
I don't need to second-guess
Won't let you in
Feel this pain inside my chest
And we're only growing colder
I don't need to second-guess
I let you in

I'm not searching for forgiveness
Because I'm not taking back the things I've done
And I'm not making your decisions
Because you're everything I'm not
I'm not searching for forgiveness
Because I'm not taking back the things I've done
And I'm not making your decisions
Because you're everything I'm not