Freak

(album: You Can Do Anything - 2008)

It's a hundred pounds an hour
Or two hundred for the day
I'll take cash or credit card
I don't mind how you pay

It's a funny kind of business
When you're in demand
A social mantelpiece-man
Would never understand

Started back in oh-six
When I was down and out
Not a conjure up together
Left in no doubt

I looked at the computer
And I had to make the choice
One was cleaning toilets
And the other needed boys

Now I'm a freak
I get my money through love
And I'm a freak
But it hurts me so much

I'm living by the hour
Sometimes by the day
Always gets me outta bed
And never goes away

Here's another pensioner
Who's hornier than most
Got a little cottage
Just on the coast

But we've gotta be so quick
Before her husband gets home
He might be old and grey
But he's as hard as a stone

The act of love was simple
But the end felt like death
Then she started talking
I could smell her breath

Oh my stomach went all queasy
And I started to balk
I took my ready payments
And I walked out the door

Cus I'm a freak
I get my money through love
And I'm a freak
But it hurts me so much

I'm living by the hour
Sometimes by the day
Always gets me outta bed
And never goes away

All my friends laugh
And they talk behind my back
I'm thinking I'm on top
But inside my soul just rots

I'll pack it in some day
Save some money and move away
Cus life as a gigolo
It's all gonna have to go
I'm gonna have to go

Spinning down my spine
It gives me the creeps
Pay me now, not later
Cus I've gotta leave

Got a forty year old woman
Who's six foot four
All the kids go crazy
When they see me at the door

It all gets sorted out
And gives them a clout
Strips off in the bedroom
Shows me what it's about

I try and try all day
Trying all day long
I try and try again
Until the money's all gone

Cus I'm a freak
I get my money through love
And I'm a freak
But it hurts me so much

I'm living by the hour
Sometimes by the day
Always gets me outta bed
And never goes away