Americans Tie Their Shoes Too Tight

(album: B Is for Beer: The Musical - 2018)

[Uncle Moe:]
I've heard all my life about love at first sight
I didn't believe it before today and tonight

[Podiatrist:]
So you say your heart's ready to give up control
But the foot treads the path that leads to my soul
Width, length and skin tone
None of that matters
I'm not one for being polite
Let's cut through the chatter
To the heart of the matter
Americans tie their shoes too tight

[Uncle Moe:]
Fine, but my tootsies are much freer than you'll see again
'Cause they carry a heart that's at heart a bohemian
Even with this busted stump I could dance you all night
And set fire to my shoes if you find them too tight
In bed you put me through such paces
That I forgot that I ever wore laces
Just give me a chance and see how I do

[Podiatrist:]
I want to stroll barefoot into the night with you

[Together:]
Loosen up
Loosen up
Let's get loose together
And fall in love

[Uncle moe:]
And how do you feel about beer?
Since we're already here talking
For me, a bit of brewski keeps my laces from knotting

[Podiatrist:]
I want nothing to do with a lush

[Uncle Moe:]
I don't get crazy drunk

[Podiatrist:]
You do, you'll be out on your tush

[Uncle Moe:]
I'm not a sot, swear to heaven above

[Podiatrist:]
Would you even give up your red hook for love?

[Together:]
Loosen up, loosen up
Let's get loose together
And fall in love
Love loosens everything up
So let's get loose together and fall in love
Tonight