Celebrity Lip Syncing

(album: Make Happy - 2016)

Anyone watch Celebrity Lip Syncing on The Tonight Show?

It's the end of culture. Culture's over, everybody. We lost. This is entertainment. How is this entertainment? People we've seen too much of mouthing along to songs we've heard too much of. And this is the bread and butter of American television. And it's always one of two things on celebrity lip-syncing. It's either a male celebrity lip-syncing to a woman's song...

[fake laugh] "But he's not..."

...Or it's a rich, young, white actress ironically lip-syncing to a hip-hop song.

"[fake laugh] Fuck the police coming straight from the underground. Can you believe this song was once an honest articulation of class struggle? [fake laugh]"

Fuck these people. How dare they think that them fucking around is worthy of your attention? Them playing Pictionary? Your attention's a valuable thing. I worked for three years to get it for an hour. And I barely get there.

[silence]

See?

[audience laughter]