My Life In The Knife Trade

(album: After The Eulogy - 2000)

How many times have I noticed that our eyes hardly ever meet
From your judgment seat I can feel the anger for my very being
Fill me in on when you became such a big part of my life
That I should bother with all your lies designed to bring me down
Wrong again, don't depend on any reaction again

I remember the icy walls that shot up from nowhere
and I can see every lie you've ever told yourself
You bleed me dry and I don't ask why, but I'm left with the dust
Judas kiss, I dismiss, thank you all for this, I am untouched (I am)

Wait again, not through with the screaming
I contend that you've got nothing better to do

I'd trade my life for a barrel of gold
Find someone else before I get too old
If I live my life for aesthetic gain
Will you repay me with all your shame

I can see every light inside your brain
Go on every time that I walk by for nods and whispers
Your comfort in my suffering is no longer disturbing
I'm lost beyond your petty stopwatch in life's real time (life's real)

Wait again, not through with the screaming
I contend that you've got nothing better to do

I'd trade my life for a barrel of gold
Find someone else before I get too old
If I live my life for aesthetic gain
Will you repay me with all your shame

Don't get up I was only leaving the room
When the door of your judgment swings back around again
maybe I'll stop to watch your act and I'll go on my way
I've seen quite enough of too many childish games

I'm ashamed of every moment
That I ever gave them the time of day
All the worst enemies
Are somehow always friends that used to be