The Couch

(album: Supposed Former Infatuation Junkie - 1998)

You hadn't seen your father in such a long time
He died in the arms of his lover, how dare he
Your mother never left the house
She never married anyone else
You took it upon yourself to console her
You reminded her so much of your father
So you were banished and you
Wonder why you're so hypersensitive
And why you can't trust anyone but us
But then how can I begin to forgive her?
So many years under bridges with dirty water
She was foolish and selfish
And cowardly, if you ask me
I don't know where to begin
In all of my 50 odd years
I have been silently suffering and adapting perpetuating and enduring
Who are you younger generation to tell me
That I have unresolved problems?
Not many examples of fruits
Of this type of excruciating labor
How can you just throw words around?
Like grieve and heal and mourn
I feel fine we may not have been born
As awake as you were
It was much harder in those days
We had paper routes uphill both ways
We went from school to a job to a wife
To instant parenthood
I walked into his office
I felt so self-conscious on the couch
He was sitting down across from me
He was writing down his hypothesis, I don't know
I've got a loving supportive wife
Who doesn't know how involved she should get
You say his interjecting was him just calling me on my shit
Just the other day, my sweet daughter
I was driving past 203
I walked up the stairs in my mind's eye
I remember how they would creak loudly
She was only responsive with a drink
He was only responsive by photo
I was only trying to be the best big brother I could
I've walked sometimes confused
Sometimes ready to crack open wide
Sometimes indignant, sometimes raw
Can you imagine I pay him 75 dollars an hour?
Sometimes it feels like highway robbery
And sometimes it's peanuts
I wish it could last a couple more hours
So here we both are battling similar demons
Not coincidentally
You see, in getting beyond knowing it solely intellectually
You're not relinquishing your majesty
You are wise, you are warm
You are courageous, you are big
And I love you more now than I ever have in my whole life