Hunting Season

(album: Stellaria - 2023)

Patience is a virtue, but Heaven isn't for someone like me
And I would only hurt you, standing on your shoulders in the deep

It's hunting season, always all or nothing
My legs are so tired, how is anybody running?
Why the hell am I so devoid of any meaning?
What is living for if you don't know what to believe in?

It's been so hard for so long
It's been so hard for so long
Where did I go so damn wrong?
It's been so hard

The forest has a fire, but all it ever seems to do is rain
And I wish I was lighter, so you would never have to hold my weight

It's hunting season, heading into winter
Running from the gun, but it's my hand on the trigger
Why the hell am I so afraid of going deeper?
I blame everybody but the person in the mirror

It's been so hard for so long
It's been so hard for so long
Where did I go so damn wrong?
It's been so hard

I'm scared I'll always be this way
That people will not want to stay
That I'll wake up forever hoping
I just make it through the day
That I'll make myself smaller to fit someone else's version
That I'll lay down on my deathbed, an unhappy fucking person

It's hunting season, I don't have a weapon
I am at your mercy, I was just a freshman
Why the hell am I somewhere in between the crossfire?
I say that I'm fine, I have become such a good liar