Hippies In Calgary

(album: Paint Me Back Home In Wyoming - 1978)

A few years back when me and old John worked the Calgary rodeo
We were hanging 'round town with nothing to do and nowhere else to go
The cowboys are known for their fun loving ways pranks and practical jokes
And I'll never forget the night we impressed a bunch of them Calgary folks.

Now, just down the hall in the old hotel where me and old John stayed
Were some school marms they'd come up from Dallas
To party for a couple of days
Now, these old gals was fancy dressers they had wigs and beads and all
So we put on the hair and took off our boots and boogied down the hall.

Well, you could never tell we were cowboys we were real looking hippies by heck
With long hair, bare feet and old T-shirts and beads around our neck
Well, shoot, we just had to show someone
So we boogied on down to the lounge
There was cowboys and gents in nice old suits
And ladies in long evening gowns.

Well, we found us a table and pulled up a chair
And lit up them Bull Durham smokes
Smoke filled the air everyone there thought these hippies were smoking dope
Now, Leonard McCray and old Ronnie Rosin was sitting two tables away
So we did what we thought that hippies would do
When we noticed 'em looking out way.

We'd wave our long hair and roll back our eyes
And suck on them homemade smokes
Say stuff like 'cool' and 'ya, man, wow' we put one heck of a show
Now Ronnie and Leonard they'd been there awhile
So they weren't feeling much pain
And I reckon they figured they'd have 'em some fun
With these two hippie freaks that walked in.

Well, the bar got deadly quiet and these cowboys come strolling our way
These city folks knew it wouldn't be long 'til the battle got underway
Now Ronnie, he came right over to me
And he locked me square in the eye
Said, "Hey there, boy, what's that stuff your smokin'?"
I said, "Here, man, give it a try."

Well, that didn't make him too happy
And then when I told him to bug out
He blinked and snorted like a mad Brahma bull
And frothed and foamed at the mouth
Just about then I looked at old John
And his face had turned to beet red
'Cause Leonard had grabbed him right by the throat
With plans to tear off his head

Well, Ronnie reached out with a huge left hand
And grabbed a hold of my hair
With his right fist cocked, he said
"Now, boy, you'd better start saying your prayers."
He gave a yank and my wig came off and lay limp there across his hand
A more stupified look I've ever seen on the face of any man.

Well, he dropped the think like a poisonous snake
And stared at it there on the floor
And he looked up at me and saw who I was
And laughed and gave out a roar
Well, this story doesn't have any moral
It was just one mighty good gag
But I sigh with relief Ronnie didn't swing first
Before he pulled off my wig.