My Own Thoughts

(album: 19 Days Apart - 2017)

You know most people say walk a mile in my shoes
I'd like to say spend a day in my head

I'm all alone with my own thoughts
Eating dinner every night with these demons, look it just don't stop
I'm all alone with my own thoughts
I try to keep 'em out this padded room, but this door, it just won't lock
I'm all alone with my own thoughts
As they bury me alive, and that freedom of what I don't got
I'm all alone with my own thoughts
Yeah, I sit alone with my own thoughts

The devil's dwelling in my mind, and I try to keep him out
But there are demons living inside of my head that I don't speak about
I wake up one morning feeling good and gifted
And then the next day I'm feeling highly insufficient
Should I give up or continue with my talent?
I surrendered to the fact that I'll just never find a balance
I work hard, I wasn't born blessed
I advise you stay cautious where you walk, like the floor's wet
I got nightmares that'll harm you like a war vet
Not a single secret under my belt, 'cause that's more stress
I heard comments, and they never had my pores sweat
But I ain't never cared, so I'll just share another fourth step
And every time I'm feeling down
Somebody has to thank me for my music to the point I'm feeling proud
At any cost it's my dreams that I'll protect
My dedication's motivated me to breathe another breath

I'm all alone with my own thoughts
Eating dinner every night with these demons, look it just don't stop
I'm all alone with my own thoughts
I try to keep 'em out this padded room, but this door, it just won't lock
I'm all alone with my own thoughts
As they bury me alive, and that freedom of what I don't got
I'm all alone with my own thoughts
Yeah, I sit alone with my own thoughts

I'm all alone writing in my front seat
As I wonder why she wants him and doesn't want me
Is it cause he drinks and I refuse to sip liquor?
Is he more social than me? I'm just a bit different
Is he smoother with a tongue? A better clit licker?
Maybe cause I'm broke, while he's making over six figures?
Does he fuck better?
Is his dick bigger?
I give my mind a brush and let it paint a sick picture
But I'll get over it in seven seconds flat, look
And plus I'm kinda numb so she don't gotta text me back
And it's the ones that I don't like, are the ones that I attract
The ones that I adore are the ones that never last
Listen, I'm persistent as I try to find love
But what's the point of trying when I'm gonna die from drugs?
All by my lonesome, accustomed to this single shit
Happiness is leaving as it's slipping through my fingertips

I'm all alone with my own thoughts
Eating dinner every night with these demons, look it just don't stop
I'm all alone with my own thoughts
I try to keep 'em out this padded room, but this door, it just won't lock
I'm all alone with my own thoughts
As they bury me alive, and that freedom of what I don't got
I'm all alone with my own thoughts
Yeah, I sit alone with my own thoughts

My thinking's crazy, but I trust it all the time
And if you look into my mind you'd be disgusted what you find
Negativity is crushing my design
And anything I think or feel, I just discuss it through a rhyme
I'm a train wreck slash a perfectionist
I fight a battle that I never win, I'm always weapon-less
I need a straight jacket, place me in insane asylums
Inside I'm dying, I'm trying to live a life of triumph
Yeah I'm crazy, don't got a problem admitting it
The fear is paralyzing and it always leaves me crippled sick
My minds a prison, it don't ever let me out
So now I'm always second-guessing myself, I'm the one I doubt
So pay me no attention while I'm all up in my head
And I should talk about my pride but I'll just swallow it instead
Please understand that I'm a happy person
And these are just my thoughts when I'm alone with no diversions

I'm all alone with my own thoughts
Eating dinner every night with these demons, look it just don't stop
I'm all alone with my own thoughts
I try to keep 'em out this padded room, but this door, it just won't lock
I'm all alone with my own thoughts
As they bury me alive, and that freedom of what I don't got
I'm all alone with my own thoughts
Yeah, I sit alone with my own thoughts