A Diagnosis

(album: Crazy Ex-Girlfriend (Season 3) - 2018)

[Rebecca:]
For almost 30 years, I've known something was wrong
But Mom said weakness causes bloating, so I tried to be strong
Fake it till you make it, that's how I got by
And when I tried to find the reason for my sadness and terror
All the solutions were trial and error
Take this pill, say this chant, move here for this guy
But now there's no need for regret
'Cause I'm about to get

A diagnosis!
A diagnosis!
Don't tell me "No, sis
Ter, you don't fit in"
Doc, prescribe me my tribe, give me my throng
Tell me that this whole time I've belonged
With those other people who share my diagnosis

What could it be? What could be right?
Schizophrenic or bipolar lite?
I've never heard voices, but maybe it's time to start
(You're super cool, Rebecca)
Thanks!
Obsessives with numbers, hoarders with cats
I could really rock a tinfoil hat
Perfect they're not, but at least they know who they are
No more bad pills, fads, or tricks
Who says there isn't an easy fix?

With a diagnosis!
I'm ready to blow this
Joint, and by "joint," I mean my inner sense of confusion
(You said that confusingly)
Shhh!
I'm aware mental illness is stigmatized
But the stigma is worth it if I've realized
Who I'm meant to be, armed with my diagnosis

Oh, the doctors that I've met who didn't get me!
This one naturopath used feathers to pet me
They said anxiety, insomnia were my affliction
The naturopath said it was sex addiction
But all those things I knew I wasn't
Yes, I like penises, but who doesn't?

So put me in a bottle, slap a label on
List out the side effects, then worries be gone
'Cause finally I'll know this
My diagnosis!