Family Ties

(album: Will Rap For Food - 2002)

Dear Dad
Yeah it's me, surprised that I'm writin'?
Well not really, I'm sitting at my computer just typing
Heard you were sick
Would have found out last week had I called
But to be honest
I don't feel the least bad at all
Yeah I know that sounds fucked up but you made me like that
Look at my childhood, I can't believe you played me like that
You was never around, promises was all you resort
No child support not as much as a call to my moms
I went through nights with no dinner looking bummy and skips
Could go no where in school with no money for trips
Getting cracked on by honeys and shit
Struggling
That's why I don't listen to your lectures on hustling
Cause we had nothing
Stuck in the hood always
And you refer to the 80s as the good ole' days?
Well they wasn't for me
I guess things went all your way
But I ain't done keep reading I got more to say
I know this all seems abrasive
But look what I'm faced with
Missed opportunities
Missed chances missed places
I looked at what others had and I couldn't get basic
Deprived of so much that's why I'm stuck with this hatred
I went through problem after problem thinking you wouldn't care
All simply because you wasn't there
Just promise to visit and sorry's couldn't redeem you
It probably would have been better if I would never had seen you
Cause then I wouldn't have a face to place with the lies
And the disappointment that infected our lives
I guess that's why I'm so bothered now
And want to hit a motherfucker saying you your father's child
So I gotta be keeping the faith
For them three girls of mine and I won't be repeating mistakes
That you made with me cause I don't miss my past
And every third Sunday in June you can kiss my ass

And I could feel it as a child growing up

Many moons have cycled since the night you decided
To break out late and fade out into the silence
First born son still playing in his diapers
Left behind ya
Kinda thought I'd never find ya
But guess what?
The human being you had deemed a mistake
Is now staring you in your face
It's a disgrace the way I was treated
Shit, you probably wish I got caught in the condom when my pops skeeted
Well fuck that I buck back all odds
And stuck straight through your façade of camouflage
You ain't my mom
You ain't nothing but a heartless bitch
I'm starting to switch
Don't even start this shit
Trying to fabricate facts that my dad kidnapped me
It can't be nothing but lies to try to trap me
In fact he
Packed me to Cali in '84
We found your crib but you never came to the door
Wouldn't answer the phone but you had to be home
Tragedy sewn
Yo, you had to know you were wrong
Reminisce and it's not surprising
Grew up so broke I thought the poverty line was the horizon
Many nights and days we stayed in shacks
Pops breaking his back
Faded ass packs of food stamps
But karma's a double edge sword
So thanks for letting me borrow your fucking umbilical cord

And I could feel it as a child growing up