Growing Pains, Pt. 1 & 2

(album: Growing Pains - 2020)

You were born
As a church
For your mother's old ideals
Not given choice
On who to be
Just told to "Think and act like me"

You came to be
As a means
To reclaim your tarnished name
Not given choice
On how to feel
And with no tools with which to heal

You came to see
The more you stray
The more that you are pushed away
You have not done
What you're demanded
So now you have been left abandoned

You rip the chunks from your head, wishing you were dead
Or at least a little bit sedated
Make sure the windows are smashed, the paintings are slashed
I don't want the life I'm fated

Is this all that there is, I'm no longer a kid
But the world still works the same
But then you notice a plant, beautiful at that
Growing up your windowpane

Time moves slow
But you watch it grow
Through the cracks left in your soul

There's no need to burn the foundation down
That'll ruin all the growth

You don't have to be a church
You can be a garden
You don't have to be a church
You can just be you

The wallpaper's amazing
I never thought I'd see
Something quite like this
But to my surprise
The walls fall down around me
Internal bliss

The colors are amazing
I can feel my heartbeat fading
Into a chorus of pure hope
But to my surprise
We're all here screaming softly
Internal bliss

Feel alone so I know I'm not dead yet
I can't wait til we're whole again
If there's something that I'm meant to see
I hope it waits for me

I wanna sleep out in your garden
Let the lovely bugs in
The rain will wash me pure
Maybe then
I'll grow what I've been missing
Internal bliss