Napoleon vs Napoleon

(album: Season 1 - 2011)

Epic rap battles of history!
Napoleon! Vs Napoleon!
Begin!

[Napoleon Dynamite:]
Gosh, I can't believe how much of a little bitch you are
When it comes to world leaders, you like literally lowered the bar
I'll rip your bones apart Bonaparte, Turn your horse into glue
Welcome to the battle of Waterloo part two!
I got skills I'll put you in a half Horatio Nelson
You're the ugliest thing that's ever failed in Russia since Boris Yeltsin
You can keep your french fries, I got tater tots you gnome
Why don't you crawl back in your little shell and escargot the heck home

[Napoleon Bonaparte:]
How dare you address moi, you adolescent worm
I am French! You are a buck tooth nerd with a perm!
I spit at you harder than Tina the Llama
Smacking your face till your lips swell up like Lafawnduh's
Doodle up some friends, you gangly freak show
Before I toss you over the mountain like the dreams of Uncle Rico!
This bastard's about to see how bad a battle can be
After this, your buddy Pedro will be voting for me!

[Napoleon Dynamite:]
Why don't you freaking exile yourself on your little island and hide
Cause this is a rap roller-coaster you're not even tall enough to ride
I don't even care how many like stupid Prussians you've killed
Cause to me you're just the emperor of the Lollipop Guild

[Napoleon Bonaparte:]
Sacrebleu! T'as une tête a faire sauter les plaques d'egouts
I'm going to shove your moon boots right up your poop shoot
I'll whip you so bad, they'll make a virgin meringue
You're the only type of dynamite that's never going to bang!

Who won? Who's next? You decide!
Epic rap battles of history!