Oprah vs Ellen

(album: Season 4 - 2014)

[Intro:]
Epic rap battles of history!
Ellen Degeneres!
Versus!
Oprah Winfrey!
Begin!

[Ellen DeGeneres:]
Hey God, it's me, Ellen, can I ask you a question?
How do I tell my friend Oprah she's gonna get more whipped than Stedman?
I'll make her head spin, when it comes to rhymes I got a penchant
So battling me is your intention, I better mention
You're about to get licked by a lesbian
Oh! Knock you off your throne, take a shot at everything you OWN
I got the skill to make Doctor Phil say

[Dr. Phil:]
I think you better just leave her alone

[Ellen DeGeneres:]
You can tell Rachel Ray that my favorite recipe
Is chopping Oprah Winfrey up into a million little pieces

[Oprah Winfrey:]
I'm the queen of TV and I'm here to destroy ya
So check under your seat, because I got something for ya!
You can't even hope to be as half as dope as Oprah
I'll attract my hands around your throat and Deepak choke ya!
Girl, your show's a petting zoo, you do a week on kittens
And you dance like a chicken who snuck into Drunk Kitchen
You played a fish with brain damage, I'm a nominated actress
Name synonymous with power! Spell it forwards or backwards

[Ellen DeGeneres:]
Yes, you've got that power (power), and yes I've got those kittens (kittens)
I also feature puppies, talented children and mittens
I like cute things that make people smile
Make everybody feel good for a while
Do a little dance and the crowd goes wild
Kick you right back to the Miracle Mile
I thought I told ya, your daytime reign is over
I'm jumping over Oprah like I'm Tom Cruise on a sofa
From ABC to LGBT, to NBC and now it's all me
I'm the best MC and the biggest star
I'll bite you in the ass like the tax on a free car

[Oprah Winfrey:]
Your mouth is writing checks your mullet can't cash, lady!
I'll lodge my fabulous shoe up your suitpants, baby
You follow my lead cause I paved the road for ya
You drive behind me in a second-hand Porsche
Check the Fortune 500, I'm a media wonder
The Dalai Lama and Obama memorized my cell number
Try to beef with me, I'll make the whole market crash
Honey, once you go Oprah

[Stedman Graham:]
You can't go back

[Outro:]
Who won?
Who's next?
You decide!
You decide!
You decide!
You decide!
You decide!
Epic rap battles of history!