Gold Digger

(album: Business As Usual - 1990)

(Brothers, things done got too far gone (tell 'em 'bout it)
We got ta let the girls know what they gotta do for us!)

Oh, what the heck, let's get married and have a son named Erick
No big deal, no sweat
Hmmm, I was in for a big surprise
And when I saw the judge hammer pass my green eyes
Brainlocked, my whole damn head was malfunctional
'Cause I forgot to co-sign a prenuptial, agreement
Now her case is hard like cement
I have no files on all the money she spent
She has a car, nineteen ninety brand new Jaguar
Fly kit with chrome rims that's five star
That she bought, when I was away on tour
Hitting my bank account, getting more and more money
She got paid, it wasn't funny
Talkin to myself—oh, you big, big dummy
Just my luck that I'm stuck with a marriage
And a baby who lays in a gold carriage
Now I can't leave, if I do she gets half (not the cash)
Oh, yes, the whole damn bash of money
So I chill and act so sweet
Kiss her feet, can't picture being in the street
So I give a fake smile, and a fake laugh
Fake everything so I can keep all my cash
Fake talk, like, "I love you so much"
But wishing she gets hit by a Mack truck
Next time, if there's one, I'll know
That most women strictly out for the dough
They're called gold diggers

'Cause she's a gold digger
'Cause she's a gold digger
'Cause she's a gold digger
'Cause she's a gold digger

The P had a close call, quiet as kept I dated this
"Fly girl"
Yeah, and almost got vicked
She had green eyes, thunder thighs, and a def body (so what cha sayin'?)
Top it off, she drove a black Maserati
Chrome kit, with a smile I couldn't resist
I tapped E on the shoulder and said, "Yeah I gots to get this"
(P, cool she couldn't be a gold digger)
Not with that smile and that stupid booming figure
Til one day, she spent the crazy dough
Ten Gs on Levi's, cold went Rambo
But then she smiled, gave me a back massage
Gassed my head up, and said (oh, P, you're so large)
Like a jerk, I went for the line like a fish
But she was far from dream girl, and more like a death wish
She likes to sit back, lamp, walk on plush rugs
Whip my five-sixty, sip Moet and bug (so did you flip?)
Tried to but she cut me off
And said, "Guess what?" (What?)
"I'm pregnant" (Pregnant? Damn)
Yeah, and the child is yours
So to fellas who wanna keep they cash
Or beware of the jack hammer and the helmet that glows
'Cause she's a gold digger

'Cause she's a gold digger
She's a gold digger
She's a gold digger
She's a gold digger

That's why, men in the 90s must watch themselves
'Cause ladies of the 80s got hip and went for self
With the new divorce laws, which entitles them half
That means the house goes
The car
You, and half your cash
What a price to pay, but if you play you pay
'Cause women of the world they got smart today
They flash a smile and profile
A pucker with a strut
Try to move in
Knock the boots
And got stuck, with alimony payments
Time to meet Judge Wapner
You try to flip and cut, but she smiles 'cause she gotcha
You get a flashback to wedding, when you vowed the vow
Said the two deadly words
"I do"
But look now; you lost the house
The car
Eating TV dinners in a one bedroom apartment
Boy, you picked a winner
But what goes around, comes around
That's why she wheels the Benz
And you ride Greyhound
Oh, just your luck, they on strike
Take off the wedding band, put out the thumb, time to hitch-hike
And the more you walk the pain from your corns get bigger
(Now you know)
Not to mess with a gold digger

'Cause she's a gold digger
'Cause she's a gold digger
'Cause she's a gold digger
'Cause she's a gold digger

Yeah, EPMD's in effect, DJ Scratch runs flex, boy
Hit Squad in effect in the house
Large!
Yeah, she get half