This Is Me Lately

(album: El Toro - 2019)

Gun in hand, spot him, I'ma down him
(FOREVEROLLING)
Niggas is hoes, niggas do a fairy tale life
Not me, though
Big Gee, nigga

Camping out in front of niggas' houses
Week ended, he owe me allowance
Disrespect, how could I allow it?
Gun in hand, spot him, I'ma down him
Heart pounding, hooked, I'm taking downers
Any love inside me, I'ma drown it
You never stood for nothing, you a coward
Wrong nigga, hope they never find me
Bet they whole section know about me
They don't show no love for out-of-towners
Still trapping baggies on the counter
Shawty want some every time I count it
Searching for the source to all my problems
Late nights high, I talk to Bonnie
Pray he take the pain from out my body
With the Father, I still lack the guidance
All that lying turned me to a lion
Woop stripes, nigga, I'm a tiger
Baptize a nigga in the fire
Pray he mend relations with my mama
Lately, cancer eating up her body
Lately, she don't even recognize me
Lately, lot of fake love been around me
Lately, I'm erasing all my problems
Lately, tough to make a couple thousand
Lately, niggas don't keep it a thousand
Lately, think 'bout smoking everybody
Lately, I want smoke with everybody
Lately, I don't joke with anybody
Lately, drinking, smoking keep me grounded
Lately, niggas want me to be violent
Lately, I found hope in all my silence
Lately, I keep hammers right beside me
Lately, I can't help but think about it
Late nights sitting in the county
Thinking thoughts like, "They don't care about me"
Every Sunday, praying for a visit
You said fuck me, now I know you meant it
Flashback sitting in the kitchen
Watch the door, blood in here whipping
Starving, walking, tryna find a victim
Death or prison, been made my decision
Politicking, sending out a fifty
Wrapping, shipping, catching, I deliver
I'ma split the package with my nigga
I been out here grinding, getting it with him
If he switch up on me, I'ma kill him
I'ma put my nigga out his misery
Crying to his mama and his sister
Grind, tryna get us out the trenches
X's when I sleep, I have a vision
Nigga in my bushes with a lemon
I ain't flinch, I told a nigga, "Get me"
Lately, everybody say they feel me
Lately, I don't want nobody near me
Lately, I been feeling like the nigga
Lately, I been feeling like the nigga (Big Gee, nigga)