Relate

(album: Label Denounced - 2020)

Turn it up a little bit more in the headphones
A little more if you could
Check check all right perfect thank you

Yeah FJ...
See lately I've been drifting away, with nightmares a bunch of demons in a fiery place
I try to keep all the fakes and haters out of my face, I know that I'm a good dude I feel like such a disgrace
And sometimes I just want to kill over and die, don't let it show too much in public but I'm dying inside
I wonder when I'm in the car if this will be my last ride I feel like running far away and finding somewhere to hide
And in reality I'm miserable like most of the time but I keep pushing cause I want to hit the point where I shine
I want to find myself a woman that I want to hold and call mine... they get to know me then they leave me at the drop of a dime
And it hurts, realistically what hurts me the worst
People really only like me 'cause the sound of my verse
I'm badly wounded on the inside and I need me a nurse, see I done felt like this forever and it feels like a curse
A lot of people come around and really think that they know me, I smile all the time but they don't know that it's phony
The groupies always telling me they wish they could blow me
But that ain't what I want so I just keep being lonely and I... am really fucked up in the head, I couldn't think of a better way for it to be said
I wasn't joking and if you heard me say that I wish that I was dead, but I don't want to go to hell 'cause I put one in my head
With that said keep it honest in the future I might
I'm sick of living in this darkness always searching for light
It's like the good and evil inside of me just constantly fight
I fill myself with drugs and alcohol to get through the night
And in reality I live my life with so much pain, since all my people passed away this shit just ain't been the same
A lot of folks I keep around think that this life is a game
My body's filled with so much hatred really I'm just ashamed
In my brain a lot of days I just don't know what to do
My question is how would you feel if all these thoughts were in you
When people never understood all of the hell you been through
So when they're mad or get depressed they come and throw it on you, it happens every single day and I just feel so weak
Like my emotions could explode because they're close to their peak
I sit and listen quietly and try not to make a peep, but in my head I'm freaking out and I'm just ready to tweak
I hate to say it but I'm honest. This is how I feel
I know a lot will probably hate me because I'm keeping it real
I'm like a fish that just got hooked I'm trying to fight with the reel
Only human so I had to come and tell you the deal, until today a lot of people didn't know that I'm stressed
They have a misconception that I have an "S" on my chest, I try to keep it positive and always hope for the best, but if you take a look inside you'll see I'm super depressed
It's been a while now that I just chose to keep this hidden
I did a lot of stupid shit that I wish that I didn't
It's been a shitty fucked up road that I've sat and just ridden
A lot of people probably hope that it's a joke and I'm kidding
But to be truthful there's a lot of times I just wanna cry, I feel like life is such a hassle I just wish I would die
I sit and think of shit that happens to me wondering why, that's probably the biggest reason why I keep getting high
It's all day and all night and all year that I struggle, with all this shit that's in my head that I just sit and I juggle
I sit and wait for other pieces of my life to just crumble
It's like I'm trapped inside my head and I can't get out of the rubble, and realistically I know this sounds so bad
See I can't help that every day that I'm awake that I'm sad, I sit and dwell cause growing up I really hated my dad
But in reality I'm thankful for the mother I had
See I was raised inside a Christian home
It's really crazy that it's daily that I'm in the corner holding my phone
Contemplating thinking should I put a slug in my dome, or pray to God for all these demons to just leave me alone
I sit and wonder how my life's gonna end
I'm like a monster in a world that's full of angels I'm just trying to blend
And even though these people say that they're my friend
I understand that they just want what they can get and that it's really pretend
My whole life I've had a hatred for people
It fucking blows my mind that people can't just treat others with equal, and even though I sit at church while I pray in the steeple
I've always had a little feeling that everybody is evil
That's just life in the way I perceive
I stoop and think about my kin that passed away and take a second to grieve
And even though at times I wish I could leave
It's in my head then I should take a sec to chill and take a second to breathe, but all I feel is the hate
I pray to God everybody relates, and as I sit and get baked trying to maintain my faith I pray to God everybody relates...
It's FJ