serotonin

(album: if i could make it go quiet - 2021)

I'm running low on serotonin
Chemical imbalance got me twisting things
Stabilize with medicine
There's no depth to these feelings
Dig deep, can't hide
From the corners of my mind
I'm terrified of what's inside

I get
Intrusive thoughts like cutting my hands off
Like jumping in front of a bus
Like how do I make this stop
When it feels like my therapist hates me
Please don't let me go crazy
Put me in a field with daisies
Might not work but I'll take a maybe
Oh, been breaking daily
But only me can save me
So I'm capitulating
Crying like a fucking baby

I don't wanna miss it ba-da
I don't wanna be sick ah-da
I don't la-ba-deh-deh-ba-deh
Da-da-da-brrrrah-la-da-da

I'm running low on serotonin
Chemical imbalance got me twisting things
Stabilize with medicine
There's no depth to these feelings
Dig deep, can't hide
From the corners of my mind
I'm terrified of what's inside

I get
Intrusive thoughts
Like burning my hair off
Like hurting somebody I love
Like does it ever really stop?
When there's control I lose it
Incredibly impulsive
So scared I'm gonna end up doing something stupid
But I try to contain it
Oh, It gets so draining
It's like my heart is failing
Every night I'm contemplating
My inner voices saying "tough"
So I try to brush it off
Yeah, try to brush it off

I'm running low on serotonin
Chemical imbalance got me twisting things
Stabilize with medicine
But there's no depth to these feelings
Dig deep, can't hide
From the corners of my mind
I'm terrified of what's inside

"Kan man egentlig, kan man kjenne det i hjertet at hvis man får blodpropp? Jeg følte liksom flere ganger at hjertet mitt slutta å slå og, sånn at. Liksom, at jeg følte at jeg ble helt sånn tung og rar i kroppen..."