Eddie The Wrestler

(album: Under The Counter - 2008)

Facebuster, mandible claw, neckbreaker, choke slam, Polish hammer, Doomsday device, couple of Asian mists and a mandible claw.

Eddie was way into wrestling
He was only young but he thought it was the best thing
He used to love the Undertaker and Irwin R. Shyster
But he was only small, he didn't look like a fighter
Used to get bullied at school every day
He dreamt of doing body slams and making them pay
Eddie was young; Eddie made a vow
To be a wrestler some way, somehow

I got a story about a kid called Eddie
He had a special dream, not a nightmare like Freddie
It all started on the silver screen
Thirteen, when he saw his first tag team
That night he dreamt of flying off the top rope
But he never told his friends 'cos he rarely ever spoke
It was secret, smelt it cooking like The Rock
But he kept his mouth shut and just dreamt of doing a headlock

Eddie, Eddie

When he was a boy Eddie had high hopes
He only felt at home when he was in between the ropes
Made a makeshift ring in his mother's front room
He used to pretend he was in the Legion Of Doom
When I told him 'bout Big Daddy I nearly wrecked his world
That his real name was Shirley but he wasn't a girl
He could've been a doctor 'cos he was brainier
But he went to the States to enter Wrestlemania

When most kids were chasing lager and wine
Eddie stayed at home alone and practiced on his clothesline
He kept on going, didn't let the dream get cold
Kept watching all the videos to learn the sleeperhold
Around this time kids were doing exams
But Eddie didn't care 'cos he had other plans
He hurt his younger brother with a DDT
As time went on it became his speciality

Iceman Eddie, Iceman Eddie

Eddie went to the USA to learn the ropes
Being taught by the best wrestlers from coast to coast
Mastered all the moves on his path to be a man
His favourites were the double choke and the bodyslam
Soon enough Eddie was competing
He was devastating and all defeating
Known to his fans as Eddie The Iceman
But nobody knew Eddie had a plan

You saw it in Smackdown 1, 2 and 3
Training hard like his heroes that he saw on TV
One day he's kicking, throwing punches and jabs
The next it's half-nelsons and Boston crabs
Smashed bricks with his head and lifted up cars
Pushed his body to the limit, didn't care about the scars
He sleeps on a bed made out of barbed wire
They may call him the Iceman but I'd say he's on fire