Not Real Boy

(album: Pinocchio Pariah - 2020)

I'm not a real boy I am only negative energy
I come to terms with being wrong cause I can only be me
When you're imperfect from the get-go its a losing war
All I know is that I am and I'm becoming a whore
I hurt the people whom I love and then I drive them away
The way I feel about all things is different from day to day
But then again it doesn't matter anyway because

I'm not a real boy

I'm at the point I'm fucking tired of apologizing
I don't communicate well I write it down and I sing
I imagine there's a God who isn't happy with me
But what am I anyway when I'm his energy
Crush me now prick me later because I'm dead all the same
I'm in the dark and I'm naked cover me with the shame
Of knowing that I'll never really be anything because

I'm not a real boy
I don't know who I am
I try to understand why
If I must I'll do it on my knees
I didn't ask for all this shit
But I'm compelled to live with it
So please have mercy when I say please
Oh please please, please

Don't let me get too carried away
Don't let me get too carried away
Don't let me get too carried away
Don't let me get too carried away
Don't let me yeah yeah

My body is dirt my heart is empty and my mind is sick
I walk around hard as wood being lead by my dick
Superficial conversations why can't I be sincere
But when your truth is relative tell me why should I care
I want to live I want to love but I'm stuck in my head
I got my plans for tomorrow but I'm already dead
I care a little more about the consequences but

I'm not a real boy
I don't know who I am
I try to understand why
If I must I'll do it on my knees
I didn't ask for all this shit
But I'm compelled to live with it
So please have mercy when I say please
Oh please please, please

Don't let me get too carried away
Don't let me get too carried away
Don't let me get too carried away
Don't let me get too carried away
Don't let me yeah yeah

I'm your energy but I'm not me
Keep yourself from me so I blame me
I'm your energy but I'm not me
Keep yourself from me so I blame me

I lost too much
I want to consume your soul
Maybe you'll make me whole
But I lie and distrust
Always the one guilty
I'm my worst enemy
But hear my plea
I'm not me
I want to be free
I'll never be me

Please don't let me get too carried away
Don't let me get too carried away
Don't let me get too carried away
Don't let me yeah yeah

Please don't let me get too carried away
Don't let me get too carried away
Don't let me get too carried away
Don't let me get too carried away
Don't let me get too carried away
Don't let me get too carried away
Don't let me get too carried away
Don't let me get too carried away