Settle The Scar

(album: Goodness - 2016)

Dizzy drunk and throwing up,
I finally stopped my spinning.
I guess I figured you'd show up
With all my old belongings
Saying "there you go my friend
I'm sure you've saved another"
Collapsing walls around me.
I need some brick and mortar.

Took a swing at shortened cuts
Made a wrong turn somewhere.
Unprepared for fucking up
Should remind me I'm still there
And I am feeling sharpened splinters
Cutting through my center
To hear you as you're coming around again.

You've taken pages from a book
You couldn't see your face in.
Claimed the author was a crook
In need of illustration.
And you were begging me for more.
Did you get what you wanted?
The feeling in your fingers,
Right back from where you started?

You made a map of how you loved
And drew a perfect circle.
I scribbled a Venn diagram;
I guess I lost my stable hand.
And I am feeling long, cold winters.
I'm lost and can't remember
The ways to keep myself as warm as then.

I owned your name,
Your body shape.
It sits like family;
A grateful offering
Reflected on the lake.
New slight of hand
Will trick my memory,
A veil on everything.
The paths that you could take.

You said you see life
In exploding color
Like the flash of stars
Or New England autumn.
I should've asked if you could stay.
I should've found a way around it
Because now all I see is grey
All trapped in memories that surround it.

And in your father's summer home
He squared and framed the question.
A collage of news print on the wall
Makes me feel cut in sections.
And I am shaking off my chagrin,
Flaking snow, and dead skin
That buried me in all my past mistakes.

I should've asked if you could stay.