New Year's Eve At The Gates Of Hell

(album: The Grifter's Hymnal - 2012)

It's New Year's Eve at the gates of hell
Give the Antichrist a cigarette and tell him
The boy's here all the way from Oklahoma
Oh lord, what the hell is that aroma?
It's Jimmy Perkins and all the sonsabitches
Who ripped off musicians and stole their riches

They're burning over yonder with the Fox News whores
Oh, look is that the singer for The Doors
Nope, my mistake cause no matter what they did
Poets deserve to be in heaven and by the way, kid
Why am I here when I wasn't that bad?
I just didn't like churches but I never wore plaid

Now I know I'm funky and strip bar dirty
And I like a Les Paul through a Vox AC30
There's something about a lipstick pickup
Plugged right into a Blond Tremolux
But I guess I deserve to be burned alive
Since I pawned by '59 ES 335

And sure I drank a lot of gin and tonic
But I never threw away my Panasonic
I kept that turntable through my divorce
Playing Neil Young and Crazy Horse
Drunk out of my mind singing Tonight's The Night
It was as lethal on vinyl as China White

Now maybe one time I used an Ouija board
And I never learned to make a B flat chord
So I got a double headed snake tattoo
I love Tao Te Ching by Lao Tsu
And the action and the motion of a roulette wheel
And a woman walking away in a pair of high heels

Now once I drew an inside straight flush
And I wished I could sing like Otis Rush
The truth of the matter is I really can't sing
But I can quote Martin Luther King
His words are stronger than angel dust is
"The arc of the moral universe is long but it bends toward justice"

Now back to New Year's Eve at the Gates of Hell
It's kind of like the Beverly Hills Hotel
Before you can get a table next to the fire
A sign says jacket and tie required
The devil is bad and God of course is good
But there's one thing I never understood
God throws us down in hell for all our sins
Burning in a fire and it never ends
The decision is made at the highest level
Seems Got out sources his work to the devil
Like he's an employee on the vice squad
Appears like the devil is working for God

I can't believe I said that
I'm losing it
It's New Year's Eve at the gates of hell, Let's party
Did I mention Jimmy Perkins was a lying son of a bitch?