Clear History

(album: Jumpstart Hope - 2020)

What you've taken from me
I'll never get back, I lose
What you've put me through
Has made these brown eyes see blue
Grey skies excused
Embryos from the womb of our dreams
That we conceived reside in orphanage rooms
In overslept beds fabricated
From two hearts torn in two

I can't outsmart myself, I can't repair the damage
I don't feel too well, I'm struggling to manage
Down to hell I fell, love packed its bags and vanished
No soul left to sell and my starving dreams are famished
Banished here I dwell, no stairs, no secret passage
Begged myself for help, my demons just won't have it
Addict's carousel, old habits and lost baggage
Will I live to tell this savage tale upon this ravaged planet?

Though I hate what I've been
I can't believe you want nothing to do with me
It's all about me
My confessions may be late
For their own funeral awake
But please forgive me, please
I should just say what I mean
I doubt these words will ever be heard
Presently or in a future tense with past regrets
I should've run away and given up
So long before you'd had enough
'Cause you deserved more than me

You deserve forever more than I could ever be
I'd knock on heaven's doors, leave you the only key
Delete our memories, clear all our history
Regain all mystery, reclaim anonymity
I'd leave your destiny, I'd flee your company
You'd never rest with me or know the best of me
I wish I never was ever yours sincerely, you're clearly
Better off without this lesser half, yours dearly, not me

No no, not me
Exhausted pipe dreams
Of an empty chassis
An engine obsolete