Lose My Mind

(album: H.A.R.D. - 2020)

I, I
I, I
I, I
(Heatmakerz)
'Bout to lose my

Grandma used to tell me everything a be ok
Radiator broke and the cold won't go away
Sick for 6 days man this cold won't go away
Elevator stuck and it's no hot water

Another night taking baths in that stove top water
Moms running out the house when her blow got shorter
Somewhere in the Bronx this nigga Po shot Porter
It's Rich families on tv with a robot daughter

I'm standing in the arcade and don't got quarters
Sneakers got the lean made my low tops shorter
Lent in my hair, snot in my nose
Stains on my gear, nobody knows

What it feels like to feel like in real life you gotta lie to feel like ya real life don't feel like you not alive
Standing in the spot where ya partner died
Too young to see homicide, you traumatized

Visions of the back of ya fathers ride
Pulling off, u smelling the exhaust while ya momma cries
A young man, with nobody left to idolize
28 grams, y'all know the bottle size

My block got monetized, monopolized had my own park place
Never put they whip in my spot
I'm driving by
My hood right now thinking how the hell I survive?
That liquor every night, chicken wings, a side of fries

And beef that never took a day off
Stay off the strip during holidays with fireworks cause they Are
The perfect camouflage for drama let the K off
And never take work you can't pay off if something go wrong

Running from the law everywhere
To plush views with first class seats
From no views to you choose
You never thought this would be
Didn't wanna be a victim no more
(So I decided that I)
I just knew I wanted more
So I didn't lose my

They cut our electric off, extension cord through the window
Borrowing juice from my neighbors just to play my Nintendo
My mama's boyfriend Lorenzo was blazing some indo
He always keeps some weed, but never be around when it's time to help pay the rent though
Time to keep all the ends meeting
Eviction notice on my door, even my friends seen it
I'm embarrassed due to that fact, be in my crib, dreaming
I could wear some shoes that I like, hearing my inner demons
If a pair of shoes what you lack
Go over there and move you a sack to them niggas feening, greezing, ain't intervening
Now I'm paying dues with' them packs
Dropped outta school without a parachute on my back and hit the streets hard
Please, God, bless the father's raising them seeds up
Or else it's blue flags, both arms raising them C's up (What's happening, cuh?)
Ain't no grey point, average raising them B's up (What's happening, blood?)
Tried to tell you, we damaged, no one believed us
We witnessing terrifiyng events
Hide the pain from our parent, my apparent line of defense
If my mama knew I watched my dude perish right on the fence
She'd be scared 'cause I'm in the trenches with hammers and wrenches
I'on care, it's right on the hip and a strong sip is my therapist
Got post traumatic stress disorder but I'm unaware of this
I normalize the normal lies coming from my professor emeritus
My OG was like a terrorist, heretic
Teaching me good and bad
You know the hood is sad
When the killers playing the role that your dad shoulda had (Dad)
If he was here, maybe my pants wouldn't sag
Maybe I'd learn how to smile instead of looking mad (You know)

Running from the law everywhere
To plush views with first class seats
From no views to you choose
You never thought this would be
Didn't wanna be a victim no more
(So I decided that I)
I just knew I wanted more
So I didn't lose my

I, I
I, I
I, I
'Bout to lose my