How To Make Gravy

(album: How To Make Gravy - 1996)

Hello Dan, it's Joe here
I hope you're keeping well
It's the 21st of December
And now they're ringing the last bells
If I get good behaviour
I'll be out of here by July
Won't you kiss my kids on Christmas Day?
Please don't let 'em cry for me

I guess the brothers are driving down from Queensland
And Stella's flying in from the coast
They say it's gonna be a hundred degrees, even more maybe
But that won't stop the roast
Who's gonna make the gravy now?
I bet it won't taste the same
Just add flour, salt, a little red wine
And don't forget a dollop of tomato sauce
For sweetness and that extra tang

And give my love to Angus, and to Frank and Dolly
Tell 'em all I'm sorry, I screwed up this time
And look after Rita, I'll be thinking of her
Early Christmas morning when I'm standing in line

I hear Mary's got a new boyfriend
I hope he can hold his own
Do you remember the last one? What was his name again?
Ahh, just a little too much cologne
And Roger, you know I'm even gonna miss Roger
'Cause there's sure as hell no one in here I want to fight

Oh, praise the Baby Jesus, have a Merry Christmas
I'm really gonna miss it, all the treasure and the trash
And later in the evening, I can just imagine
You'll put on Junior Murvin and push the tables back

And you'll dance with Rita, I know you really like her
Just don't hold her too close
Oh, brother, please don't stab me in the back
I didn't mean to say that, it's just my mind it plays up
Multiplies each matter, turns imagination into fact

You know I love her badly, she's the one to save me
I'm gonna make some gravy, I'm gonna taste the fat
Ahh, tell her that I'm sorry, yeah, I love her badly
Tell 'em all I'm sorry, and kiss the sleepy children for me
You know one of these days, I'll be making gravy
I'll be making plenty, I'm gonna pay 'em all back

Yeah, do-do-do-do, do-do
Do-do-do-do, do-do