In The Car Outside

(album: Pressure Machine - 2021)

I'm in the car, I just needed to clear my head
She's in the house with the baby crying on the bed
She's got this thing where she puts the walls so high
It doesn't matter how much you love
It doesn't matter how hard you try

We got a place with a fence and a little grass
I put this film on the windows, and it looks like chapel glass
But when she turns, it's like the shadow of the cross don't cast
No blessing over our lonely life
It's like waiting for a train to pass, and I don't know when it'll pass

But I remember when she used to set the room on fire
With her eyes, swear to God
It's like a flood of grief and sorrow from a haunted life
When she cries, like a train, it's a lot

I dropped a line to a flickering high school flame
We laughed about all the ways that our lives had changed
She's up the road, about 35 miles north
Got two little boys in school, just had a real bad divorce
And in a moment of weakness

I told her if she ever needed a helping hand
I would lend, swear to God
It's like the part of me that's screaming not to jump gets lost
In the sound of the train, it's a lot

Trying hard
Not to care
Swear to God