Royals Cap (Number The Stars)

(album: Irish Goodbye - 2011)

It's rainy in my back yard
sunny in my front yard
that's beauty to me
but to all you other fuck tards shit
I kill you 'till you're dead
I got a wad of cash
and a Royals cap tilted on my head
this ain't about the world series
I'm just proud of Kansas city
so I'm gonna make the whole entire world hear me
this is the home of Tech N9ne
the biggest indie rapper in the world
and that dude defends the belt dearly
dearly beloved I got a couple beers from the cubbard
from boulevard and fuck it
here's another cheers to most wanted vodka, gin
we ain't got no beach in Kansas city
just lots a friends
but some of us are broke as fuck
bills ain't paid yet
even tommy Morrison failed the AIDS test word
he must of thought that he was magic
a lot of people here do and all of 'em are tragic fuck it
I guess I'm gonna go bowling
Then I'm gonna get a hot meal at Bo Lings
Larry Johnson was the mayor but he's a clown
'cause Jamaal Charles ran him out of town
That's the Kansas city sound

Can you number the stars
Oh can you number the stars
Oh can you number the stars
because they looking like us
[X3]

You can leave and try to say you're never coming back
Just please don't forget your Royals cap

Lets go beyond Waldo
Where the Kansas City pimps got girls that they beat like Sean Malto
Winter here is almost six months long
So its dark out at 5pm
It's not fall though
You can meet me at the Jones pool
Where the guidos and the girls are so cool
A lot of amateurs built lives on the coast
But I stayed here and turned on the blow torch
And started given fools hell to pay
this the home of Don Cheadle and Janelle Monae
this the home of Satchel Paige and Buck O'Neil
where the party girls rub those pills
that's why the clubs so trill
spin stars are Mike Scott on the mix fool
it's summer time but ain't another city this cool
sometimes I feel like a spoiled brat
in my brand-new bright blue Royals cap

Can you number the stars
Oh can you number the stars
Oh can you number the stars
because they looking like us
[X3]

You can leave and try to say you're never coming back
Just please don't forget your Royals cap
Come on

But what an embarrassment
Y'all be picketing at funerals
It's fucking hilarious
Spilling out hate speech
To pay yourself
Saying god hates gays
Man you're gay yourself
Saying god hates fags
And makes homos hurt
Trying hide behind the bible
In your globo church
You got hate in your stupid soul
Man you're the reason god never lets the
Chiefs win the fucking superbowl
Little fucktards
There's a pool party in my backyard
And the raps are in the front yard
You're all getting fat little lazy boy asses
Kansas City hustle bitch
Crazy boy status
Black clover every single day baby
I'm gonna reinvest everything that they pay me
I'm gonna build an empire that's a hard boil fact
I'm never gonna take off my Royals cap
Damn
I wanna give out a big shout out to Fred Phelps
And his little army of hate mongers
You guys're clearly the reason that Kansas City is not one of the most notorious
and popular places in the entire United Sates of America
We are a beautiful, culturally enriched, artistic city
Stop that anti-gay bullshit
Kansas City boy

Can you number the stars
Oh can you number the stars
Oh can you number the stars
because they looking like us
[X3]

You can leave and try to say you're never coming back
Just please don't forget your Royals cap
Damn

Frank White
Jim Eisenreich
George Brett
Willie Wilson
Steve Balboni
Bob Boone
Bret Saberhagen little motherfucker
Dan Quisenberry
Tom Gordon

Tilt your royals cap homie