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I Don't Want To Live Forever

 

I Don't Want To Live Forever

(album: Wooden Heart - 2010)


You've got beet blood in your mouth and lies in your artichokes heart you're black eyes stalking through me with a birdcage for ribs, that vultures trying to get out it's scratching your kidney wings we're no longer feeding ourselves, the raccoons are eating our dreams pushing past our feeblery to keep them out, this morning I heard one sing: there's a whole big world out there my son, be careful don't believe them. there's a crazy old lady in the sun, she's angry can't you feel it? if you don't work hard you're no son of mine, well I've earned these riverbeds & I'll drown you out until you've made me proud if you won't learn you're better off dead. so, I'm digging in this farm yard trying to find the seeds forgetting all I have left in this world of course that includes me so I'm building and I'm learning and leaving nothing unsaid all I am is all I have, I'll take this garden for my bed and these are not just words built like a city of dreams, we have no use for this kingdom I'm proud of you my friends, may your lives be a symphony of freedom.

I don't want to live forever. I just want to live for now but the angel on my doorstep keeps pointing me towards that plow so I'm digging in with both my hands, keeping one eye on the door If I go looking I'll probably find it, …and get all I've been asking for I don't want to live forever. I just want to live for me but your faces just keep haunting …sometimes it's all I see so I'm working hard at learning all I can I'm gonna give it all to you I'll keep making payments, until we're all so straight and true

I want to paint seeds together, and follow you right up to the edge filled up and spilling like carried cups, and watch the sun go red but there's poison right here in our water, and a shark somewhere in the well I wanna show you my life, show me your life and tell me it's not the devil I guess I I feel the way I feel, you make me feel like I'm alive… and I'm alive, am I alive, I am alive so you can live… please come and live, why don't you live, you can live inside of me… there's a home for you inside me, inside of me there is a fire inside my fire, there is more fire, and in that fire there is truth but we take our furnace-chests, and run em neck deep into that lake and let the coals stare us down, one last glare of doubt & hate but we were wrong, no I was wrong, we'll just be wrong about some things and it will never be, it can never be, it should never be this easy to wash away the fire that burns, we wash away our flame my eyes saw fire, my heart said escape I said my eyes saw fire, my heart did escape.

It's the beauty in the struggle has me going keeps me shook sometimes I can see it in your face God but not in the pages of a book and there's something in your eye that's asking I got no answers, just clues for a path to truth I thought it was you. but yeah, I thought it was me too.

I don't want to live forever. I just want to live for us but the head on my shoulders keeps driving me to be careless our brains don't want to listen, ears squinting for some honesty it's gets slippery here, hold on….we are not ourselves probably I don't want to live forever. I just want to live for you but the devil round my doorway keeps singing me something new so I'm listening with idle hands cupped tight around both ears my minds open like a burned down house, I haven't died at all this year.

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