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The Longest Johns

Moby Duck

 

Moby Duck

(album: Cures What Ails Ya - 2020)


After fourteen years I left the sea, for a life upon a lake
After all the storms I'd seen, I needed a good break
I thought still waters would mean peace for me
But that was a mistake
For the place I chose was bedeviled by a giant evil drake

A mallard of such malice, twice the size of any man
A bill to give you nightmares and a monstrous wingspan
You cannot hope to fight it so avoid him if you can
That terrifying waterfowl, the beast beyond the dam

Row-ho Row-ho Row with all our might
Row with harpoons loaded and spoiling for a fight
Row-ho Row-ho and with any luck
We'll win the day and do away the dreaded Moby Duck

I'm not one for surrender so a vengeful oath I swore
I gathered up me hearties like so many times before
We shot our ship with weapons and prepared to go to war
'Til the fetid feathered fearsome flying duck will breathe no more

Row-ho Row-ho Row with all our might
Row with harpoons loaded and spoiling for a fight
Row-ho Row-ho and with any luck
We'll win the day and do away the dreaded Moby Duck

There was bonnie brave Marie, who to her arms had waved goodbye
And handsome Jack whose duck-attack left him without an eye
The Derby twins with one leg each on deck were standing by
Only a couple dozen limbs between a crew of twenty-five

Row-ho Row-ho Row with all our might
Row with harpoons loaded and spoiling for a fight
Row-ho Row-ho and with any luck
We'll win the day and do away the dreaded Moby Duck

The fight raged on for several hours, defend and then attack
With beatings from those wicked wings our boat began to crack
The beast reared up to finish the job, and with a mighty quack...
(Quack)
I rammed my harpoon in his throat and made a tasty snack

Row-ho Row-ho Row us back to shore
We'll drag his broken body back and roast it on an oar
Row-ho Row-ho barbecue the beast, with hoisin sauce and pancakes
We will have the biggest feast

Row-ho Row-ho Row with all our might
We rowed with harpoons loaded and spoiling for a fight
Row-ho Row-ho Row we had all the luck
We won the day and did away the dreaded Moby Duck
We won the day and did away the dreaded Moby Duck!

(Quack)

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