Ego Trip

(album: As Far As The Stars - 2021)

I don't have no friends, work myself to death
I don't rest, just lie in bed at night and fight inside my head
I try my best, my girlfriend cries, I'm stressed, knives inside my chest
Like I don't have no love to give you, babe, 'cause I've got nothing left
I give it everything I got 'cause I'm addicted to the grind
I ain't even been outside in a week
I'm digging through the boxes that I hide in the corners of my mind
Tryna figure out the verses for these beats
And I don't even eat
I can see my ribs when I breathe, and the tank's on E, but I speed
I know all I need is a vacation, but if I don't be creative
I can feel a deep depression creeping deep inside of me
Tom, you need to calm down, turn the mic off
Shut the fuck up, this is my song; babe, what the fuck?
What? You want bygones to be bygones?
Need a coattail you can ride on?
Cool, I'm gone, buy a tripod and a Nikon
I'll never shoot a video again, I'm a icon
Bro, you need to chill, you're a time bomb
Shut up, Brandon, what's wrong? You don't like Tom?

Back when you started when you would crash on my carpet
Man, it was so fucking obvious you'd blow,
Well, you got what you wanted, followed your demons to darkness
Can you come back where you started? I'm home

I can't get no sleep, scroll on my IG
I post a picture with no filter, people don't like what they see
Anxiety, my girlfriend tries to speak, I lose my mind and scream
Like, why the fuck are you still with me? All I need's my next release
I can never take a second to stop working on a record
I pretend but I go crazy in my head
Every single moment not recording doesn't get me any closer
To perfection or alleviate the stress, ayy
And I'll never be as good as I expect to be
Can't rest in peace long as I'm attempting dreams
Obsession tweet, every single breath in peak
To be the best MC since Eminem breathe
Babe, you're way outta line
Oh, you wanna throw me out? Well, that's fine
That's not what I said, this is all in your head
We're your best friends, you won't like how this ends
What's that a threat? You're obsessed with success
Think about it, Thomas, is it worth what you wreck? Yes
You changed since you got famous
You're jealous that everyone knows what my name is

Back when you started when you would crash on my carpet
Man, it was so fucking obvious you'd blow
Well, you got what you wanted, followed your demons to darkness
Can you come back where you started? I'm home

Heart on my sleeve
My God, autograph CDs till my back seize up
I just stare at the screen, and I rap these songs
Till I hate all the words and I smash keyboards, like fuck
I just want balance
Feels like if I want friends, then I'll have to quit rapping
And honestly, I just can't let that shit happen
I've been through too much, it's so hard to imagine
I can't stop now, it's become so obsessive
It's wrecking my health, and it's ruined my friendships
I'll probably regret it, I'll spill my intestines
So nobody has to decide to dissect it
I don't need friends, I need paper, I need pens
I'll take music over oxygen, I'll write until I'm dead

Back when you started when you would crash on my carpet
Man, it was so fucking you'd blow
Well, you got what you wanted, followed your demons to darkness
Can you come back where you started? I'm home