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MC Chris

The Hammer (Skit)

 

The Hammer (Skit)

(album: Knowing Is Half The Hassle - 2003)


[Geek:] ...economics, I love economics...
[Bully:] HEY over there! Where do you think you're going?
[Geek:] I'm gonna go home!
[Bully:] Thought you were gonna get out of school without talking to me first?
[Geek:] School's over. I wanna go
[Bully:] I got some recollections I want to share with you.
[Geek:] Oh, recollections on what?
[Bully:] Let me think back on how many of your family members' CUNTS I've licked today!
[Geek:] Oh, how offensive!
[Bully:] Let's see, your SISTER...
[Geek:] Oh!
[Bully:] ...your MOTHER...
[Geek:] Not my mother!
[Bully:] ...Your GRANDMOTHER...
[Geek:] My grandmother?
[Bully:] I dug up your GREAT GRANDMOTHER...
[Geek:] Oh, you wouldn't!
[Bully:] Her cunt tasted like SKELETONS!
[Geek:] Oh, that's gross!
[Bully:] HAHAHAHAHA
[Geek:] HEY! How do you feel about THIS!?
[Bully:] Oh my God! Aah!
[Geek:] I bought this gun at lunch!!
Bully Oh my God!
[Geek:] And now I am pointing it right at your face!! I'm tired of the way you've been treating me!! And I'm not gonna take it anymore!!
[Bully:] Please! Please! I...I...looking at your gun, I...I'm rethinking all of my bullyism...and I...uh...I just think if I were to get a second chance...
[Geek:] You can't get a second chance!! You are way too mean, and therefore, you deserve to get capped!! I am pulling back the...thing that you pull back before you fire the gun!!
[Bully:] The hammer?
[Geek:] NOW I AM PULLING THE TRIGGER!!
[Bully:] OH MY GOD! YOU PULLED THE TRIGGER ON THE GUN AND THE BULLET'S FLYING OUT OF THE GUN AT LIGHTNING SPEED! AAH! OW! IT HIT ME IN THE HEAD!
[Geek:] HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT, BULLY!? HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT!?
[Bully:] AAH! OW! I'm dying...dying.
[Geek:] Wait a minute, what have I done? [cries] I'm sorry...who will I talk to now? What have I done...what have I done?

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