Guitar Hero Hero (Beating Guitar Hero Doesn't Make You Slash)

(album: This Gigantic Robot Kills - 2009)

Walking down the hall all the fifth graders swoon
Autograph line every day in homeroom
On the playground all the kids like to point and whisper,
"Check his calloused guitar-button blisters"
I'm a fourth grade celebrity
Plastic axe on my back and a Dragonforce T
My teachers know that I'm the man
A walking, talking ten-year-old-brand
Pepsi offered me mad G's to drink Sobe exclusively
Guitar Hero, it's my song, flip the switch and then it's on

[CHORUS]
Well I'm starting up my Wii and all my fans are in the stands
I would invite my parents but they'll never understand
I've got a reputation for the levels that I beat
I'm a Guitar Hero hero, hey that's me

They say Robert Johnson sold his soul to the devil
I can beat "Through the Fire and Flames" on expert level
While Slash rocks the strip up and down LA
I push multi-colored buttons on a stick all day
Dimebag brought the dope harmonics
My five buttons are electronic
Clapton spilt his heart on "Layla"
I go (click click click) playa
Hendrix lit his strat on fire
Generations were inspired
One day my songs could do the same
if I weren't so addicted to this game!

[CHORUS]
I'm a player, I'm a hero, I'm your rock star little man
If I don't do my homework will my teachers understand?
Can't really strum a note and every gig I rock for free
I'm a Guitar Hero hero, hey that's me

Beating Call of Duty doesn't mean your aim is good
Beating Wii Golf doesn't make you Tiger Woods
Beating Apples to Apples doesn't make you a farmer
Watching UFC won't make you any harder
Friends on Myspace won't make you a musician
Beating Operation doesn't make you a physician
Watching CSI doesn't make you a detective
Playing Mario Paint doesn't mean you have perspective
Beating Gears of War doesn't make you Wintson Churchill
Quoting 90's sitcoms doesn't make you Steve Urkel
Grand Theft Auto doesn't make you a player
Playing Sim City doesn't make you a mayor
Beating Rock Band doesn't mean you rock
Beating Tony Hawk doesn't make you Tony Hawk
American Idol won't make you a star
Beating Guitar Hero doesn't mean you play guitar

Play me some guitar
Now play me some guitar
Play me some guitar
Paul Gilbert on guitar!

Let's go!

[CHORUS]
Well I know my mom will ground me if I play again all night
When I step into the zone I always rock it right
My eyes are getting bloodshot as my fingers start to bleed
I'm a Guitar Hero hero

I'm gamer, I'm an addict, guitar strummer, I'm a fan
One day I'll tour the country in my drummer's beat-up van
But until I learn to play I'll sit in front of my TV
I'm a Guitar Hero hero
I'm a Guitar Hero hero
I'm a Guitar Hero hero

Hey that's me!
And that's me!
And that's you!
Well golly gee!

Yeah!