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Your Favorite Martian

Mr. DoucheBag

 

Mr. DoucheBag


You're a douchebag, do-douchebag do-do-do-do-do-douchebag.
You're a douchebag, do-douchebag do-do-do-do-do-douchebag.

Hey Mr. DoucheBag, why's your ego so massive?
You know it's 2 AM and it's dark outside.
You don't need those sunglasses.
Yeah we all remember that hot chick
You hooked up with once
Ccause you went on to brag about it for months and months.

Yeah we all get that you think it's impressive
But ain't nobody impressed with how much you're bench pressing.
Buying Smirnoff Ice for girls half your age,
Telling all your douchebag friends that you "still got game."

Dear Mr. DoucheBag.
We all agree that you are a dumbass.
Why can't you see that!

You're a douchebag, do-douchebag do-do-do-do-do-douchebag.
You're a douchebag, do-douchebag do-do-do-do-do-douchebag.

Dear Mr. DoucheBag
Do you find it necessary to shout into your Bluetooth
Or boast about high school rugby
"And I would have went pro if it weren't for my bum knee".

And why you got to complain every single time you're not getting laid.
You douchebags are a lot of the same.
"Dude let's go. This place is full of grenades"
Always trying to look cool, like it's a full time career.
That's why your Facebook pic shows you chugging a beer.
Got your gold chain and your wife-beater on
So you can fist pump your way to the tanning salon.

Dear Mr. DoucheBag.
We all agree that you are a dumbass.
Why can't you see that!

You're a douchebag, do-douchebag do-do-do-do-do-douchebag.
You're a douchebag, do-douchebag do-do-do-do-do-douchebag.

Inconsiderate, ignorant
You drink you get belligerent,
You think anybody finds you amusing?
No, no, no. Not even a little bit.
You always find a way to stop all the fun
Like, when you scream "party foul" at the top of your lungs.

Dear Mr. DoucheBag,
I caught you bragging again.
Trust me man, nobody gives a damn what frat you were in.
You claim you hang with celebrities when you don't know any at all.
"But dude I'm totally banging George Clooney's sister in law."

No you're not come on.

Dear Mr. DoucheBag.
We all agree that you are a dumbass.
Why can't you see that!

You're a douchebag, do-douchebag do-do-do-do-do-douchebag.
You're a douchebag, do-douchebag do-do-do-do-do-douchebag.

Hitting on other girls when yours is in the room.
You're a douchebag do-douchebag do-do-do-do-do-douche bag

Walking in the club grabbing all on your junk.
You're a douchebag do-douchebag do-do-do-do-do-douche bag

Refusing to let go when she says no.
You're a douchebag do-douchebag do-do-do-do-do-douche bag

Cut me off in traffic then flipping me the bird
You're a douchebag do-douchebag do-do-do-do-do-douche bag

"Dude it's George Clooney's sister in law, I swear,
Come on, where the hell is my protein shake?"

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