Sesh Radio: Volume 3 (Bonus Track)

(альбом: PaidProgramming2 - 2016)

You are now tuned into Sesh radio

Ladies and gentlemen this is, uh the lead programmer of Sesh Radio, Flex Carmichael here. Uh, we have some very unfortunate news, um our dear brother and friend, Chip Kipperly has passed this afternoon and um, you know were all gonna mourn for him, but were gonna were gonna listen to this tape like he would want us to. Remember the good times. Because that's what he would want. Rest in peace Kip
(His name is Chip)
We're gonna miss you buddy
(His name is Chip, man)

Alright, Flex, we're going live in 3... (Anywho) 2... 1...
Uh, we're gonna go ahead and pass this over to my man, um, he's a new intern here. He's gonna be taking over and he's gonna tell you guys what's going on with the weather. Go ahead

How's it going everybody? This is Gavin, the intern, testing out and trying the new equipment we have here at Sesh Radio, I'm getting the hang of things. Lot of knobs, lot of... new... it's a lot of stuff I'm I'm gonna say I'm not really used to equipment like this... Hold on...

[Muffled voice] Hear me? (Hold on)
(No we can't hear you)
[Muffled voice clearer] Do you hear me?
[Shuffling]
[Sound fucked up] The sound is completely fucked up. All the inputs are fucked
[Static Noise] Gavin, what What'd you fuck up Gavin?

[Beep]

Sorry, we are experiencing technical difficulties
Please stand by for paid programming 2
Please stand by for paid programming 2

Ladies and gentlemen, thank you for your patience. We're gonna bring you a new record from Ricky A Go-Go, called The Countdown 5... 4... 3... 2...
Now play it, Ricky A Go-Go Countdown

Lemme tell you like this
I don't care if you moving bricks
I pay no mind if you trying to speak
You ruin the lives of everybody you meet
And everybody you don't, people down the street
Turn your neighborhood into a place for creeps
But soon you will see how they make the beat
When it's time for me and me and you to forever sleep

Time's running out
I fear it now
I'm counting down
4 3 2 1
Time's running out
I fear it now
I'm counting down
4 3 2

Until the end of time
Come dance with me
Come dance with me, oh until the end of time
Come dance with me
Come dance with me, oh until the end of time
Come dance with me
Come dance with me, oh until the end of time

Coming soon to sesh TV

[Robber 1:] Alright mane in and out mane, no casualties this time, alright?
[Robber 2:] Yeah yeah I know, just keep the car running, go on
Gimme all the fucking money or I'll blow your fucking brains out!
Roach: Hey, down here. How you doing tough guy? The name's Roach. Get on the fucking ground scumbag

Coming this winter, it's the insect with all the moves, Roach, private eye. Cockroach detective

[DJ Fondle-Em-Good:]
Hello out there, you are listening to the Swank (So meaty) the Swank Hour with DJ Fondle-Em-Good and today, we're gonna pick up where we left off. I'm gonna take some phone calls. Give a little advice and whatnot and what-have-you. Mmhmm
You know the number. Give me a call at 213-888-2202
What's that? All righty, okay. Let's get it going
Caller, you're on the line
[Roy:] Hi, am I am I on the air?
[DJ Fondle-Em-Good:] Ye yeah you're on the air man
[Roy:] Oh okay. Hey this is Roy out of Witchataw
[DJ Fondle-Em-Good:] How's it going Roy?
[Roy:] And uh-hey, hows it going, Fondle-Em, thanks
[DJ Fondle-Em-Good:] I'm doing all right man, I'm doing all right. You?
[Roy:] Glad to be a guest. Um, uh, I have to tell you man, my son called in for some advice the other day and I didn't really appreciate the advice you gave him
[DJ Fondle-Em-Good:] Well uh, maybe you should've gave him the advice, motherfucker
[Roy:] I-I mean, I don't know why he called you and he didn't call me, I don't know man, but, maybe
[DJ Fondle-Em-Good:] Get the hell off my line
[Roy:] Okay Fondle-Em
[DJ Fondle-Em-Good:] Playing around and whatnot man, next caller
[Roy:] Hey, ww
[Caller 2:] Hello? Hello? Am I really on?! DJ Fondle-Eeemm!
[DJ Fondle-Em-Good:] Man, get the hell of my dick and get off my line
[Caller 2:] [unintelligible gibberish]
[DJ Fondle-Em-Good:]
Somebody getting fired today. Didn't I tell y'all to get him off my line? Playing around, man
For our next segment, we gonna do a crowd favorite, mmmmhmm, uh-mmhmm. You know what to do. Call in, ask me what you wanna ask me and Ima give you my honest opinion because dammit, that's the only opinion I give. Mm
[Caller 3:]
Fondle-Em bro, long time listener here man, hey, check it out man, if I ever see you man I'm gonna shit the bed all over myself bro, I swear to you on everything bro. Anyway, I really appreciate what you're doing out there, out there in the states and all that, and uh, again-we-we-you've got a big fanbase out here, believe it or not bro. Fondle-Em bro, [?] I really appreciate that, that segment man, we don't have that type of slang out here, and it's really catching on bro, like I-I talk to my, my comrades, and bwubwubwuh I swear to God, bro, they said "mmhmm" and I thought about you, and
[DJ Fondle-Em-Good:] You got three seconds, man
[Caller 2:]
Anyway, my "mmhmm" on the hmmhmm for today is, fucking... you know when you first meet the girl, and then she wants to, you don't know who's gonna buy who lunch, man, you know what I mean, what do you do in that event, what do you do? I know what I would do, but what would you do, bro? Thank you
[DJ Fondle-Em-Good:]
Listen, first of all, I don't even go on dates man, so that's a nmmm-mmm. And, secondly, you know the rules man. Make it quick and to the point. No long winded explanations and run-on sentences and all this extra hibbity-hoo. My time is valuable. And, you all know that so why am I See, look at, you, you affecting me now, man, I'm pulling one of your moves. I'm all out of whack, so Ima go ahead and call it a night. It's always a pleasure to have you tuning in to Fondle-Em FM. Signing off is your host, Fondle-Em-Good, and I'll see you next time baby

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