My 19th Birthday

(альбом: Game Over - 2017)

169

I spent my 19th birthday in the hospital
With my brother and my mum
And I know it sounds dumb but I felt like I lost it all
The pain's compulsory, suffering's optional
Takeshi's castle, my life's got obstacles
I'm still dealing with a whole load of stress
I see my older brother so close to the edge
And that there put a hole in my chest
And then they tell you home's where the heart is
But I got a hole where my heart is
Because I let a hoe where my heart is
Never again, I had to tell her that we're better as friends
I never messaged again
Every message I send, ends up in a groupchat
'Cause girls go and tell all their friends
That's one of many reasons why I ain't sending DMs
Look, I'm gonna keep this cake and I'm gonna eat this cake
That's why I'm living three lives I'm in GTA
I'm in Los Angeles driving a Mercedes and it's funny because honestly I didn't think I'd see LA
Surprise birthday party I didn't see this cake, coming
I need this money like its EMA
You gotta separate the rats from the G's if you can't handle cheese How the hell you gonna be a great
I need a blazing inferno for my enemies
Behind my back I know that everybody sends for me
And I'd respond but I don't even have the time
I mean, asking Avelino couldn't help me find the energy
I don't think my ends want the best for me
That's why the question me, fake G checking me
Fuck the road but if anybody's testing me
It's one step away like a 5-a-side penalty
Every Santander Nationwide remembers me
Right pocket full of cards, I'm a referee
Ain't it funny how this money that I'm getting came from fucking PA's like I'm sleeping with a secretary
Secondly, your girlfriend's obsessed with me
But that's a story for another day and this is why love is fucked
'Cause you went and put your trust in her and then she sent and sent me nudes
I said "Nuh-uh-uh, cover up"
I aired it, certain girls I can't respect
We're all nothing to someone, and that you can't forget
So just remember when the girl's playing hard to get
There's probably another person that she's trying hard to get
And there's probably a girl in your phone right now that you hardly text
That's looking for love
But everybody wants what they can't touch, so

If you, touch my money you can see what I'm about
You can ask your little sister I will be inside your house
Eating from your fridge, feet up on your couch
Tell your little brother "Butter me a sandwich, spread in evenly amounts"
You think I'm playing any games?
Why do you think I talk about cars, women and chains
On half of the songs I make, materialistic aims
Make me feel a way when I want it
When I got it, it don't ever feel the same
We got different types of problems
I'm getting corporate tax on this cash that I'm making
And at the same time I need to vanquish my paigons
If you think it's dead you're mistaken
I'm hot headed and dangerous
And still living in this matrix
All I wanna do is make my loved ones proud
In this year alone we made three hundred thousand
But my mum won't smile becuase her son's on trial
We've got different types of problems
What do you know about living in a shadow
Where every single thing that you can do is being tainted
'Cause your brother's in the station and he's ill to the bone
12 or 13 when I turned into an adult
All them kids my age were going TeenFest
When I was getting searched by a golden retriever in a Cat. A prison while I'm standing on an arrow
We used to have cards and now we're playing with swords
My G went from Blackjack to a black Jack Sparrow
I know so many man who got a case on their head that would kill to come home
But there chances are narrow in this world that we live in
Nobody listens, we do have thoughts
But nobody's thinking and I get it
'Cause none of us are tyna play the victim
Any disrespect then retaliation, instant
I know a lot of man have been dodging karma
And they think it's all laughter 'till the bitch comes to kiss them
You know the difference between life and death is one bad decision, 3 or 4 inches
So many man my age have got P.T.S.D and I don't think that it's hit them
If you envision, the way that we're living
The things that we had seen, situations that we'd been in
You would understand why I don't wanna talk about my life in every song I've ever written
I really wanna help, but it's out of my control and jurisdiction
'Cause a lot of road yutes have got a sickness, mentally

Like, look
My mummy always used to tell me this
"David, listen when your older's speaking"
I know man that listened to their olders speaking
And now they're all life'd off and they don't know the reason
In a weird way summer is the coldest season
You'll get killed at a party for the smallest reason
One day you're chilling in secondary
Next day your right hand's a memory
So when I say that I'm alone, do you know the feeling?
When I say the game's over, do you know the meaning?
I mean that I don't have the time for this
I need a girl but same time there's no time for them
I got people inside and I don't write to them
It's like I don't feel pain no more
I can't do journeys on a train no more
Can't shed a tear writing on a page no more
I don't wanna play games no more
I don't want my friends on a case no more
And trust me, I don't want a war on the ends
But it's like you wanna start it so say no more
I'm too big for this nonsense, I don't need problems
Meetings, 1.5 milli ain't an option
I don't need a deal or an option
In my own neighbourhood
Me, Jack, Benny in the office
I don't need excel, Sony, drama
Our team's faster, street Sam Chara
I got a lot of love for everyone that checks for me
And a lot of love for certain girls sexually
Texting me, saying that she slept on me
And definitely wishes that she slept with me

Look
On another note I wanna say thanks to Cal
One of my closest from young and we're still at it now
I remember when we learnt to play piano
Just to make each other jealous, who'd've thought that we would practice now
Your talent's been standing out
Be proud of your dream, you should stand and shout
I remember last year you never had a clue
And this year you went and did "Attitude"
Speaking of attitude, it's only right I say sorry for my attitude
And I ain't never mad at you
Tyrell, Manon, Frasier especially
I got a lot of things I'm dealing with mentally
I feel down a lot and I ain't got the energy
I need all of your help to get the best from me
There's way too much to do, I ain't getting sleep
And last time I got a rest they arrested me
Tell me I treatment for a video I didn't make myself from scratch
Every lyric, every melody
Every fucking beat
Every little detail in the artwork and video
Everything is me
A wonderful team and a God that I serve
My friends and my mum, my brothers and my girl
I don't want short-term success or a banger
Man are signing to a sentence, getting lost in the words
And it's fine if you sign man it's each to their own
But these clones need to know that I'm different from the world
Don't compare me to them, they couldn't beat me at my worst
It don't matter if I'm rapping or I'm singing on the verse

Look
People don't get that I'm serious
I don't wanna play games no more
And I don't wanna talk to these girls no more
I can't fuck a girl that in it for the fame no more
And man can't talk on my name no more
I give it 5 or 10 minutes 'till your main ting talks
She's telling me that they don't talk no more but I'm pretty sure that his wifey knows more
No more, no I don't wanna play no more
No talks if it isn't money made no more
No more, no I don't wanna play no more
And I don't wanna see my girl no more
'Cause I don't really wanna see her hurt no more
My mum telling me that she's gotta stop working and I'm telling mummy you ain't gotta work no more
No more, mummy you ain't gotta hurt no more
You ain't gotta cry in your shirt no more
Mummy you ain't gotta wake up for work in the freezing cold in the middle of the night for a cheque no more
Mummy you ain't gotta cry no more
You ain't gotta stress in the night no more
And I ain't gotta say no more
We ain't playing games no more