you in everything

(альбом: angel in realtime. - 2022)

I prayed the day you passed
But the heavens didn't listen
So we held you till your dark skin dulled to fair
Went out to smoke a dart
Finally get some time alone
But just broke down and held my wife beneath the stairs

'Cause I saw our little life
Ascending from the street
And flung from overpass to overpass
Collapsing in a heap
But to cradle you the last days was an honour
And a miserable feat

I still need you in everything
I will need you in everything

The places you have walked
I consider holy ground
And I will love the things you love
Despite my prior thoughts about
And I'll think of you each day
As if to nourish me from inside out

Now I speak to you in tongues
And seek for you in pain
And long for echoes in the silence
Born of islands and of rain
Every hymn and all the sounds
That bind the many of us fiercely to the sea

I will hear you in everything
I will hear you in everything

I prayed for you in song
And kneaded through your veins
And chased the morsels of your voice
And gave you shots to ease the pain
When you asked us for some wine, we bought the best stuff
And we laughed and watched you drink

Now I smell you in the air
And I pause to breathe you in
And I am torn apart your closet
And devoured the scent within
You ascend in every skyline
And all the water and the streets of Grey Lynn

I will feel you in everything
I will feel you in everything

How do I face the world?
Or raise a fucking kid?
Or see beauty in the earth
And all its majesty replete
When I've spent the better part of my twenties
Doing self-indulgent bullshit on repeat

So if there's something of you here
In the ever changing light
Holding close to my unsteady heart
And bonding me to life
May your spirit never leave me
In the boredom and the utterly sublime

'Cause I will look for you every time
I will look for you every time

It'll torture me at first
Then it'll hurt a little less
And I will pore through every piece of you
Till nothing new is left
Just your eyes in my reflection
And the heavy thing now beating in my chest

We held you in your bed
We washed you in your sheets
And sang you hymnals from the islands
Till you drifted off to sleep
When I kissed the hands that raised me
For the last time
And stared out into the street

I will see you in everything
I will see you in everything
I will see you in everything
I will see you in everything