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Jakey

Uncharted 4 (RAP REVIEW)

 

Uncharted 4 (RAP REVIEW)


So you got a PS4 but you don't know what to play?
You play games all day
You play
Rocket League
Bloodborne
Witcher 3
Phantom Pain
(Oh my God I love that game)
You played all of the fucking remastered collections
You beat every level in Rayman Legends
You need a new title to be your obsession
You got 60 dollars
Just look at Elena!

Uncharted 4 is a new game
It's cinematic as hell like a movie
It's got graphics better than Grown Ups 2
If you hate real life you'll hate this too
Just look at this detail sliding in the mud (yeauh)
Or maybe this boat (ugh)
Or when they making love (woo)
Shit are they gonna fuck?
Shit I don't give a fuck!

Cause the game had a motherfucking stealth and shit
So now Nathan Drake isn't always murderous
But you gotta still do some murdering
It's a cover based shooter
(EVER heard of it?)

The platforming is still super easy as hell
But it accommodates combat very well
Oh uh, and uh by the way...
DID I MENTION there's a motherfucking grappling hook in this game?!
I'm Tarzan come meet my brother Jane
Bonus shit like slow mo Max Payne
So much work put into this game
Good characters well written as well
Even though Drake should probably be in jail
Even though Drake should probably be in hell
Can you even count the number of people that he's killed

Game runs at a solid 30 fps
Lenght 12 hours 25 minutes
Quick time events can still suck a dick
Otherwise a wonderful experince
Multiplayer is suprisingly lit
You get to swing around like a fucking bad bitch
You get to swing around shooting dudes in the dick
Did I mention I love swinging on this shit

Uncharted 4
Will get a good score
That score is Elena out of PS4
It's the best in the series
It's a console must have
To make your friends jealous
And to make your dad proud
Nakey Jakey UH!

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