Death Messiah

(альбом: A History Of Violence - 2008)

Did protons and electrons create the Earth?
Or did Allah meditate, and create his birth?
Is everyday in this place a curse?
Or should I pray on my knees and embrace this dirt?
I don't know if there's a reason I'm here
I feel the only thing that's driving me is reason and fear
And seeing death to me conceivably near
So I don't give a fuck what you think about me reaching for beer
I don't worry anymore about what my friends do
I have a more urgent matter to attend to
Is there something there bigger when I die and vanish?
That weaves everyone and everything into a canvas
I'm not smart enough to think I have a resolution
I'll never be a man with mediocre constitution
My father told me that blood and power intoxicate
And that tyranny is a product of his father's hate

I recognized the guilt and sins of the father
And recognized what's built and what stems from the author
Understand man is not a machine
He needs a surface and a purpose and a reason for being
Either way I'm gon' stick with my fam
Regardless if that's a dream of a ridiculous man
And I'm becoming more indifferent everyday
So naturally all the questions have faded away
Some of the things that I said I hated to say
But blame yourself motherfucker you made it this way
I don't think I would even if I was able to stay
I don't think you're good I would sit to the Angels and pray
But everybody gotta deal with they self
If they cut another throat for the material wealth
If it's a problem are you man enough to deal with the help?
Or are you destined for the darkness of concealing ya self?

I'm trying to deal with the thirty years I've spent in prison
Not the physical because of existentialism
I back myself into a previously dead position
When all I ever had to do was just repent and listen
Why can't everybody leave me alone?
I'm the only one who really need to see that I've grown
You ain't smart enough to see what I know
I like to stab myself and let me fucking bleed till I go
But I'm just scared what would happen on the other side
Tryna fight the good fight, how many of us died?
I don't know if I trust the people that hang with me
Is it God or is it the Big Bang Theory?
I know some really good people and they slang near me
But I don't think karmically that they should hang really
At thirty years old I don't have peace yet
And I ain't get out of the belly of the Beast yet