4 Minute Freestyle

(albüm: Nihilist - 2020)

Yeah, I got some money now, but I ain't always sad as shit
Used to walk around I always thought I was the saddest kid
Baddest shit, anxiety never let me relax and shit
Started writing everything was wachy shit, fuck
Blowing up it ain't an accident
There's a reason I sound better than every motherfuck
I'm rapping with
Laughing em I've been working since a kid practing
No letting up now I've been looking for where the action is
Everybody thinks they know me, but they don't
I've been doing this shit, and it ain't a joke
Fuck a flex into this, yeah, I was broke
Now I walk in and I can buy anything in the store
My momma hate that, I make sad songs
But I got problems in my head, I'm traying to stay strong
When I was little they tried taking me to therapy
I hated it I'd rather tell my problems, to a microphone
Yeah, I'm remember when my dad and I were getting fights
His medication wrong brain wasn't, working right
The manic side was like a monster coming out at night
Hit me with the one tool and told me, he ain't raised me right

Now we tight and I love him, but never forget
So I ain't never trust the pills that they prescribe me with
I swear they never understand what we've been through they try to medicate the youth they gonna kill the fuck kids, fuck this
Through my life away for all the music, shit
Fuck school, I just wanted to get the music big
My old friends, never understood the things I had to do
Couple stuck around and now I'm trying to feed the crew
My life changed in a couple years
I stopped begging them to listen, now they screaming out my name and shit
And honestly I never knew if o would make it here
I'm not good guy I just wan to stop the fuck tears
I wish everyone would just leave me to fuck alone
My brain is racing depression to make another song
I feel like I was trying to be something great
But then I lost my head and went crazy somewhere along the way

Now they act like I'm a therapist and I can diagnose
But how can, I help them when I can't help myself
I really want to make them feel better
But I've been broken for a minute too like a nobody remembers
Nobody ask me how I'm doing anymore
I'm getting money, blowing up and going tours
What else in the world could
I want right so why do I feel like I'm dying every night
I really do love my fan with my whole heart
That's why I'm writing down the lyrics alone in the dark
Staying up all night sceaming right into the mic
Trying to make a song that you sing to make you feel right
But now I got a bunch of people on the internet
Saying, Zack is like this actors like that
Like they know a single fucking thing about me ain't never been in my shoes so
They don't know shit, yeah
I'm fuckin trying, yeah, I'm fuckin trying
I'm fuckin trying if I told you, I was happy well
Then I'll been lying
Try to go sleep, but I just keep thinking
Trying to drown all the voices, I just keep drinking
Now I feel sick and start slurring my words kind of funny that depression make, your whole body hurt
I hope that one day I'll grow up and maybe I'll learn
To put a smile on and let me demons burn, yeah