How To Get More Money (And Not Have To Shoot Somebody)

Alright America
You're in for some tough moments. Sucks, don't it?
Your cup overfloweth, and you chose to dunk donuts
Now you're slumped in the corner with the punch-drunk poets

Are you mildly depressed, by anxiety and stress?
Though society has lied to me, I try to be my best
Our cash and possessions, defining the successes
Of a life that ain't quite entirely correct

Well, the odds of getting rich are strictly anecdotal
But we all watch the shows and we wear the brands and logos
Feeling that the future holds some kind of grand proposal
Sometimes I wanna grab the gun and make 'em hand it over

Tell me how to get (money), and not have to shoot somebody
This is how to get (money), and not have to shoot shoot shoot shoot...
(Bang, baby, bang)

You get a lot of free cash if your numbers on the lottery match
Or rob banks in the Halloween mask
"Is there something more practical?" you probably ask
"Some way to get by when the economy's crashed?"

There's a lot of ways to get paid if you don't have scruples
The government just calls it loopholes
Why, I know people that'd kill you, you get your gold tooth pulled
And guys in nice suits who'll sell you high fructose

Your claims don't match to your quarterly receipts?
Fake a car crash, be reportedly deceased
Sneaking in a restaurant, ordering a feast
And eat like I'm morbidly obese

Well, if I had one, man, I'd just stay in my car
Wear a beret and a scarf, and play the guitar
I know a guy who buys organs, spends his day at the bar
Well, I'm about to sell 'em all, just be a brain in a jar

Tell me how to get (money), and not have to shoot somebody
This is how to get (money), and not have to shoot somebody
Tell me how to get (money), and not have to shoot somebody
This is how to get (money), and not have to shoot shoot shoot shoot...
(Bang, baby, bang)

Don't believe in the dollar, but it's the only choice they've given me
America's pursuit of happiness and liberty
Take a kid door-to-door, collecting for the little league or
Some charity that taps into our pity and our misery

War is corporations, fighting for customers
Locations, and high-end construction work
Well, kids ain't kids now, we've been trying to establish
Assigning them a status of a buying demographic

Are your student loans due? Check the change returns
On phone booths, and grow your own produce
Stow away on some Caribbean boat cruise
There's nothing a desperate man won't do

Well, I know it's not right, but it sure is funny
Jumping off the ladder for insurance money
And all those old women hide their purses from me
Well the flower looks pretty but the dirt is ugly

Tell me how to get (money), and not have to shoot somebody
This is how to get (money), and not have to shoot somebody
Tell me how to get (money), and not have to shoot somebody
This is how to get (money), and not have to shoot shoot shoot shoot...
(Bang, baby, bang)

Took a weekend vacation, on a study for sleep deprivation
The streets ain't a cheap education
The dollar bill replaced, the thrill of the chase
The hunt and the kill, the skill that it takes

Old Bernie said your money was earning interest
Now you got thirty minutes of attorney visits
It feels like disaster may be flirting with us
And all I got is nursery rhymes and dirty limericks

Alright folks, well I'd love to stay and chat
But I ain't had a decent meal in like a day and a half
I'll meet you in the back and you can pay me in cash
Walk away a new man

Tell me how to get (money), and not have to shoot somebody
This is how to get (money), and not have to shoot somebody
Tell me how to get, and not have to shoot somebody
This is how to get (money)...