Lucy

(albüm: July Madness! - 2020)

I think about the life that I had
That shit was great even when I thought I had it so bad
I took my privelige for granted man that's making me sad
I had a house and a wife and shit I was a dad
We named her Lucy she was gorgeous I just loved to be around her
But the situation changed when the rumours came in louder
I was working out of state, putting food onto our counter
And apparently my wife was fucking dudes up on her counter
Yo at first I ain't believe it had no proof of the encounter
My family knew the truth but I was foolish and would vouch for
Her and say she didn't 'cause she loved me too much
And she would never do that we got Lucy and such
I guess that I was wrong 'cause when I finally left my job
I got a flight to be back home I was surpised at Lucy's mom
Bought my baby flowers and a couple of gifts
Nothing big just some chocalates and a charm for her wrist
But when I open up the door I seen her down on her chest
With some random dude behind her I don't know who he is
Now it made a lot of sense she was cheating on me
I wasn't even mad at her I was mad I would believe
That she was innocent but I'm still giving her the benefit
A doubt because I truly love her I don't wanna end this shit
We tried to forget it but it's difficult to get a grip
And when I was at work she just left me man she took my kid
I tried to reason with her said that we could divorce
But can I see my baby girl? I need to teach her remorse
'Cause I know you won't do it you gon' turn my kid to a whore
Said I'm not allowed to see her so I took her to court
The judgde told me there's a law that if the kid's really yours
You have the right to see them and be a parent and I was sure
I was the father so I took a test with Lucy to be
Involved with her but it turns out that Lucy ain't me
And that's okay I love her to death
And even if she ain't blood I'll be the father I can
But the law says I couldn't unless I'm married to Beth
But we divorced 'cause she cheated she created this mess
I lost my family, and that shit drove me to drink
But if I drank enough liqour I controlled what I think
I was started missing work I was too hungover to bring
My self to leave the house now I'm broke and it stings
They finally fire me my anxiety's back
Because I can't pay the bills and I'm behind on my rent
Where will I live if I'm evicted? Man I'm trying to wrap
My head around the situation but I cry when I'm stressed
And I'm stressed now I'm stressed out I'm on the brink of flipping out
I don't got a house, toiler or sink
What you expect a man to do when he was down on his knees
That bank telling me to pay them some ridiculous fee
But I don't have it fuck it you can take my estate
Shit I could sleep inside my car until my payment is staight
I did that for a couple weeks until I woke up in pain
And realized it's been a few days since I even ate
I pawned my car just to get a little cash
Hoping that I could make it last
Until I'm back on my feet
But obviously that ain't gon' work
When I seen what they quoted me on what my car was worth
I ain't worth shit worthless
Plus the bank is searching
For my assests to liquidate what's on my person
What's the purpose? God can you tell me
You put me on the streets and I did was try to help thee
And I hate you for it still I can't change it
So I just buckle down and pray that I can face it
I miss my wife and people seem to change quick
So who am I to say I wouldn't put her through the same shit