The Messenger (Skit)

(albüm: Thug Mentality 1999 - 1999)

[Restaurant Environment In The Background]
[Krayzie:] Aw Shit. Excuse me man, excuse me.
[Waiter:] Uh, yes sir?
[The Messenger:] Could you tell me where the payphone at in here, or somethin'?
[Waiter:] Certainly. Back there by the wine racks.
[The Messenger:] All right, thanks a
lot. Thank you, thank you.
[Waiter:] Oh, you're welcome sir.
[The Messenger:] Shit, it's a classy-ass, muthafucking restaraunt. Know this muthafucka got the money, punk-muthafucka. Shit.
[Pick's up phone. Dialtone. Puts in
money and dials. It rings at the other end.] [Contact answers phone]
[Contact:] Hello?
[The Messenger:] Yeah, hello!
[Contact:] What's happenin'?
[Messenger:] Yeah, I'm in the muthafucking spot now, man.
[Contact:] He there?
[The Messenger:] I don't see nobody yet, but I know the nigga'll be here. He got reservations.
[Contact:] All right, handle your business.
[The Messenger:] I think I see his broad coming in right now.
[Contact:] Right on, Time.
[The Messenger:] So, don't worry about shit. I'm a handle this nigga, man. This nigga in a classy-ass, muthafucking restaurant. I know this nigga got the muthafucking money. Don't worry about shit, I'm a have it. All right?
[Contact:] No mercy nigga.
[The Messenger:] All right.
[Hangs up phone]
[Broad:] Excuse me
[Waiter:] Uh, yes ma'am?
[Broad:] I have a reservation. It's for Jones.
[Waiter:] For Jones? Let me see here for a minute. Oh yes, Mr. Jones called, he said he is running late, but I am to seat you now.
[Broad:] Okay, thank you.
[Waiter:] Follow me this way. Here you go ma'am. Um, would you like to start with something to drink while
you wait?
[Broad:] Do you have a Chardonnay?
[Waiter:] Most certainly, coming right up. Oh, and uh, here is Mr. Jones right now. Hi, Mr. Jones how are you this evening?
[Mr Jones:] Hey, what's up? What's up? What's up?
[Broad:] Hi Baby.
[Mr Jones:] Hey, baby. Damn!
[Broad:] Baby, what took you so long? I been just waiting and waiting. This is a nice place.
[Mr Jones:] Yeah, its cool. It's cool. Did you order yet?
[Broad:] No, baby. I was waiting on you. . . . Baby?
[Mr Jones:] What? What's happenin'?
[Broad:] That guy's been staring at me since I've sat down.
[Mr Jones:] What dude?
[Broad:] You know him?
[Mr Jones:] What dude?
[Broad:] That guy over there
[Mr Jones:] Over where? Aw Shit!
[Broad:] Baby, whats wrong?
[Mr Jones:] Damn, don't worry about it! Jus' Damn! Just', just be cool, just be cool.
[Broad:] Baby, he's walking over here now!
Mr Jones:OH, Shit!!
[Broad:] Baby, he's, baby he's going in his jacket.
The Messenger:Message for Mr. Jones, Muthafucka!
[Broad:] OH, SHIT!!
[Amist a massive array of gunfire and commotion:]
[Mr Jones:] Cover your head
[The Messenger:] Punk muthafucka! Punk muthafucka! [Gunfire ceases.]
Fuck you! Get the fuck out my way! Get the fuck out my way!
[More gunfire.]
Fuck you! Get the fuck out my way. Get the fuck out my way.
[ByStander:] My leg! My leg!