Hipster Mom

(albüm: The Zombie Dinosaur - 2015)

[Hipster Mom:]
“Oh my God, I never thought I'd ever hear MGMT again…
but guess who popped up on the Yo Gabba Gabba! Spotify station yesterday?”

She's late for baby yoga, but she's looking hella fly
breastfeeding out in public catching everybody's eye
with her brand new Orbit stroller and her probiotic smoothie
at Whole Foods checking prices on that tasty vegan sushi
with that Adbusters mag and her artisan toast
she's always shopping local and avoiding GMOs
scoping out the Lululemon infant line on her phone
using Amazon Mom cause she's always on the go
watching GIRLS on HBO, really takes her back
to the Bushwick parties, and the vinyl stacks
she misses Cafe Grumpy, and Brooklyn Label
but when she's back on Franklin she can never get a table
she remembers Luna Lounge, where she passed out flyers
for an underground band named Arcade Fire
before Leena Dunham was successful and paid
Hipster Girl was on the L, trying to find her way

Well Hipster Girl grew up and got her MFA
Married with a mortgage and an IRAHybrid mini van up in the carpool lane
But Hipster Mom is ding okay

[Hipster Mom:]
“This may seem like a stupid question, but is breast milk vegan?
Can I call you back in a bit? I have to Skype my lactation consultant.”

She looks so good when she shops organic
Because she cares about her baby and the future of our planet
But life has gotten hectic, now that she's become a mom
though the charter school waiting list isn't all that long
and the Mandarin immersion that they offer every morning
combines a bit of Waldorf and a bit Montessori
and their rooftop playground has an urban petting zoo
with recycled wood chips and a Manhattan view
because her Greenpoint sublet had to go
Bedford got too crowded and she'd seen enough shows
So she married a designer and moved to Park Slope
Found a nice Brownstone and they took out a loan
And her Etsy store has been doing great
since Ellen Paige, Instagrammed her diaper bouquets
Before the Starbucks down on Union sold soy lattes
There was Hipster Girl trying to find her way

Well Hipster Girl grew up and got her MFA
Married with a mortgage and an IRAHybrid mini van up in the carpool lane
But Hipster Mom is ding okay

Well Hipster Girl grew up and now she makes it rain
Amber teething necklace that she bought fair tradeVegan chocolate cake for baby's first birthday
And Hipster Mom is ding okay

[Hipster Mom:]
“Did you hear? Jessica had an elective epidural?
It's like she doesn't even care about the health of her newborn, how basic.”

No more TV on the radio it's NPR
where she heard the interview in her husband's car
with her ex-fiancé who had gone EDM
but ever since her wedding it was hard to stay friends
and his Coheed hoodie with the dragon fly?
She'd kept it in her closet as the years went by
“who's 'Cry Tonight' about?” asked Terry Gross
"A girl I knew in Brooklyn we were once very close”

Well Hipster Girl grew up and got her MFA
Married with a mortgage and an IRAHybrid mini van up in the carpool lane
But Hipster Mom is ding okay

Well Hipster Girl grew up and now her world has changed
The vintage Slayer onesie has begun to fade
Still on the second page of Fifty Shades of Grey
But Hipster Mom is doing okay

Yeah Hipster Mom is doing okay [x3]

[Hipster Mom:]
“Are you kidding? Of course I'm not going to let her wear pink. Didn't you see the Huffington Post article on Facebook this morning? Gender roles are so passé. That's why I'm siding with Blossom on the whole Frozen controversy. Have you seen Blackfish? It is so sad. There is no way we're ever going to have a party at Sea World… ever. Do you think the gold iPhone 6 clashes with her indigo aura?”