Hots For The Smarts

I like a girl in satin
Who talks dirty in Latin
A girl who's flirty
When she quotes Krishnamurti
If she likes to be goosed
While reciting from Proust
I'll know she's my kind of creature
Among her delectables
Her intellectables
Must be her sexiest feature

I've got the hots for the smarts
The hots for the smarts
IQ off the charts
Give me brains over hearts
Any day
I've got the hots for the smarts

I want a girl from Mensa
With a furrowed brow
When the tenses get denser
She gets it and how!
I need a polymath called Cindy or Cath
Who likes her Plato not too platonic
An autodidact who can add and subtract
While sipping her Tolstoy and tonic

I've got the hots for the smarts
The hots for the smarts
IQ off the charts
Give me brains over hearts
Every time
I've got the hots for the smarts

I want a girl with a feel
For Faraday's wheel
A girl who'll drool
For Fleming's Left Hand Rule
Now you may like pin-ups
Of girls who do chin-ups
Like Xena the Warrior Princess
But I'll take to dinner
My Nobel Prize winner
With plutonium stains down her dress

I've got the hots for the smarts
The hots for the smarts
IQ off the charts
Give me brains over hearts
I've got the hots for the smarts

I want a girl who knows loadsa
Kierkegaard and Spinoza
A girl who plays chess
Humming Porgy and Bess
Know her face may have scars
Like a surface of Mars
But as long as her mind is spectacular
I'll forgive her bad skin
And a breath tinged with gin
And a smile just as sweet as count Dracula

I've got the hots for the smarts
The hots for the smarts
IQ off the charts
Give me brains over hearts
I've got the hots for the smarts

I want a girl with a brain
The size of Siberia
With a haughty disdain
For all things inferior
I don't want some learner
With a Bunsen burner
She must be the finished article
Who sees our attraction
As a chemical reaction
And charm as merely a particle

I've got the hots for the smarts
The hots for the smarts
IQ off the charts
Give me brains over hearts
I've got the hots for the smarts

I want a PHD
Who reads Linear 'B'
Who applies her lotion
With a Brownian motion
Now some men may favour
A girl who's a raver
Or a tease or a saucy young minx
But I'll get undressed with
The girl I'm impressed with
She's tunnelling under the Sphinx

I've got the hots for the smarts
I've got the hots for the smarts
IQ off the charts
Give me brains over hearts
I can't help myself
I've got the hots for the smarts
Oh please please please
I've got the hots for the smarts