Mind Of My Own

(альбом: Twisted By Design - 1998)

It's four o'clock, the TV's on
My mind is shut off and my own thoughts are gone
I change the channel, I change my mind
I change my life; I wanna leave it all behind

'Cause I don't have a mind of my own
I am influenced by everything that I see
And I can't help it now
Everything in my life just thinks for me

Can't help this habit; I'm in love with my disease
Worshiping my idle time, a life I cannot seize
Trapped by depression and I sleep all day
But Xanax, Valium, Ativan makes it all okay

It's so much more than a cry for attention
No loving hands can soothe this ache
It's so much more than my war with the world
It's my own degradation, it's my own self-hate

I preach my pessimism
Right out loud to anyone who'll listen
I'm not afraid to be alive
I'm afraid to be alone

Late at night, my monsters find me
From under the bed or out of my past
All alone with nobody to talk to
Sanity gets put to the test

I close my eyes but I'm still haunted
Sometimes I get too twisted to sleep
As all my world crumbles all around me
Inspirations become admissions of defeat

Cause I don't have a mind of my own
I don't have a mind of my own
I don't have a mind of my own
Everything in my life just thinks for me