This Life I Have

(альбом: Infinitely Ordinary - 2020)

I hate my life
I hate my friends
I hate the way the notebook ends
I hate my job
I hate my car
I hate the cute girls at the bar
I hate my band
I hate my songs
I hate the kids that sing along

But worst of all you made me hate the things I love
Now I love these drugs
That numb the pain
I love the way your knuckles taste
I love the noises in my head
That tell me, "Nick, you should be dead."
But hey this life that I've got's real
I'm reminded everyday
That I will never ever ever ever ever ever ever be happy

That's how it goes
I'm just having a bad night
Maybe, yeah maybe this could be alright
So much to live for I could die
I think this could be the start of a new life

(Oh is this your new boyfriend? oh sweet...)

Now I hate myself
I hate my clothes
Hate that my facial hair won't grow
I hate my brain
And how it thinks
I hate my narcissistic tendencies
My lovely shade of giving up
It takes so much to loosen up
So I'll pop another pill and
Watch the world give up on me
Watch the world give up on me
Watch the world give up on me

I don't deserve your attention
I don't deserve it one bit
I'm sorry if this song
Or if this show ain't what you wanted
You worked so many hours saving up so you could make it
Til a website ripped you off and went and bought up all the tickets
Now we're eye to eye
While I self-examine
My pretty mind, my convoluted, pure depression
Your opinion it haunts me
I just want you to want me

I want my life
I want it back
I want the good times that we had
So I'll just write
When I feel down
And hope the masses sing aloud
I love these songs
I love our fans
I take back everything I said
Yeah I'll enjoy
This life I have