Ride For AIDS

I'm a modern privileged gay
You spend most evenings on your back
Disposable income everyday
I think it's time that we both give back,
Turn off Doctor Oz,
Ride a bike for a good cause,
Raise some dough for our friends who are pos

Training, sweating that shit hurts.
Feel the wind blowing in your hair
Trading in our mini-skirts
For some fashionable active wear
I still don't see the appeal,
Plus I can't ride a bike in heels
But just think how good you'll feel
I can make my rump hurt better for a weekend

Get your ass to San Francisco,
Then ride down to LA.
Safety first so wear a helmet.
Bitch I said “No way!”
How 'bout I ride a flat-bed?
I'll look cute and pay for gas.
Cause you know I love a road trip,
But Clif Bar tastes like ass.

You're a shady fucking drag queen.
Probably going straight to hell.
But then you do a little AIDS ride.
...And the PR goes well.
I'll look like a real good person,
With generous charity ways.
Oh, I'll make a stank face baby,
But I'll ride for AIDS.

Are you a Starbucks lover, Willam?
(I don't know what that means)
Is there WiFi on this thing?
I will beat you with your selfie stick!
Young man, sexual body wear,
Plus the Lycra shows off his dick.
Oh my gosh! The view is right.
I will bike all through the night.
Pitch a tent it feels so nice.

So each mile that I go,
Makes the donations pile on up.
Plus we get free Gatorade.
Can I get some backup in my…
Shut your mouth you'll swallow a bug.
It's a nice break from drag and drugs,
Plus I get to shake these big jugs.
(I knew we should've asked that Aussie whatshername to come.)

You're a shady fucking drag queen,
Probably going straight to hell.
But then you do a little AIDS ride,
And the PR goes well.
I'll look like a real good person,
With generous charity ways.
I'll make a stank face baby,
But I ride for AIDS.

So please follow up and donate,
TofightHIV.org
Give a little and you'll get back.
It'll be a smorgasbord.
Give some cash if you ain't got time,
Good karma gets you laid.
And we'll make a stank face baby,
But we'll ride for AIDS.

Please don't sue us Taylor Swift,
We're do-gooders.
Gave you credit right down there in the footer.
Please don't sue us Taylor Swift,
We're do-gooders.
Go and donate to the site in the footer.

You're a shady fucking drag queen, (HIV!)
Probably going straight to hell. (Stops with me!)
But then you do a little AIDS ride,
And the PR goes well. (Get your ass on the bike!)
You're like a real good person, (Ride a unicycle if you want to!)
With generous charity ways.
I'll make a stank face baby,
But I ride for AIDS. (Or you can rollerblade if your super fruity gay!)

So please follow up and donate, (Donate!)
TofightHIV.org. (org!)
Give a little and you'll get back,
It'll be a smorgasbord.
Give some cash if you ain't got time,
Good karma gets you laid.
And we'll make a stank face baby,
But we'll ride for AIDS